All I Wanted

chapter 1

Haizly
ALL I WANTED
TWO YEARS LATER

My life has always been fucked up. My father is a dead-beat shit who made my life miserable. My mother stuck around with him until she had my brother who is a year younger than I am. My father would always be drunk and fucking women every night. He would bring them in our house and do stuff with them while torturing my mother. I have so much rage with that piece of shit. And although I know it wasn't my mother's fault, I still have so much anger inside me from what I've seen and been through.

People obviously don't understand that they're the reason I'm like this. My father, his past, the people who would never help out my mom when she needed it. And she got through everything alone. Until she met my stepfather and had another child. Drake.

I never got along with none of my brother's. Cara, only a little. Only when I really needed her help. Like with relationships and school. She's way older than me, has her life together, and is now a detective. I am proud of her, but I haven't spoken or seen her in years.

Hell, I haven't seen none of them in years. After my mother told me she was pregnant again, I lost it. And everyone lost it on me. Especially my mother.

I've always thought, 'when she has this baby, it's going to have a better life than I ever did growing up'. And that makes me furious. Drake and this new damned baby will have better lives than I ever had as a child. Not just me but Josh and Cara too. We have the same father, while Drake doesn't.

All I know, is that they're the reason I'm like this. And they can never fix me, not even Caleb. And he knows me better than anyone else in this fucked up world.

My professor wants us to write something tragic in our lives and turn them into books. Books that only we get to keep and share if we want to. And no way in hell would I share my writing. My life is so fucked up that I don't want people to know what goes on. Especially the people I went to school with, since they all knew how I was. Rebellious. The only fucking word.

But being bad is way more fun than being one of those girls who are shy and have their noses in a book. And although I love reading, I will never become one of them.

I have my notes layed out on the island and am trying to figure out what happened at this time and who did it. The past is like a blur to me. But I still remember when I met Kayden, when Caleb and I got together then got engaged. I'm just getting old.

This is my final before I graduate. I'm graduating early so Caleb and I could finally move into that big house and have a family. I'm still a little weird about having kids, but I'm still thinking about it. Caleb is always trying to convince me to have a baby, but I can't. Plus, we're too young.

"Haiz?" Caleb says as he comes out of our bedroom. I look at him and see him with a frown.

"Yes?" I say and turn my body to face him. He walks closer to me and rests his elbows on the island.

"I have to go to Spain for some work. I'll be back some time next week. I don't really know." I sigh and drop my pen on top of my paper's. I hate that he leaves for business. I just want him with me, get a normal job so I won't have to worry if he's coming back to me like he says. It scares me that there's a chance I won't see him again after he leaves. And that feeling has been nagging at me sice I found out about Caleb being in the mafia. I even had dreams about not being able to save him from this. And I just hope that isn't real! I need Caleb so much that I don't know what I'd do without him.

"Caleb . . ." I want to tell him not to go but he still ends up going either way. There's no stopping Caleb Scott. Even if I beg or try to seduce him.

"I know, baby. But I have to, some guys are waiting for me so we can make a deal. And I think it's good because in that case I'll get more money and we can start moving into the house." I rub my eyes and sigh. Of course I want to move into the house now, but this apartment is so fucking pretty. It just carries so many memories.

Maybe if I go with him then I won't be so paranoid. I won't have this anxiety in me and the stupid voice at the back of my head telling me that something did happen to Caleb. Those voices are a damn bitch and I hate that I can't shut them out when I want to. They're always going to be there just fucking with you.

"Can I go with you?" I ask. He'll say no, but I don't want him to leave all by himself.

"Haizly." He gives me a stern look. "Finish your work and don't even think about coming with me. You have to stay here, it's for your safety." He turns to walk away but I continue the conversation.

"What about your safety? What about us? I don't want to lose you, Caleb." My voice cracks at the end and I'm sure I'll burst in tears. He walks back over to me and kisses me.

"You won't lose me, Haizly. You won't, I promise." He kisses my head before going to our bedroom. I have no motivation to write anymore so I put away my stuff. It's due next week either way. I have time.

I walk into our bedroom and watch as Caleb packs his suitcase. We made a list on what he needed because the last time he packed by himself he didn't have enough clothes. So I helped him to pack and made sure to give him a list on what he would need if we wouldn't have it here.

"Are you sure I can't go? I can work online and Sean can keep an eye on me while you do business." I say with pleading eyes. I really don't like the idea of him going, sometimes bosses just send one of their men to go to the meeting and then deliver the news back. But this is Caleb, he's complicated.

"No, Haizly. You can't go. We've already-,"

"Caleb just let me go! What the hell are they going to do to me? I know nothing about what you do. Sean will keep me safe like he's done when you're gone!" He looks at me with a glare and he flares his nose.

"Fine, come. But you will work, be inside with Sean and do not even think about going near a fucking window." I smile, not at his rudeness, but at the idea of going. I want to get out of New York and go somewhere else. I've only gone up to Canada and I need to go out so I won't have to face the same people I see here everyday.
---

If you read this part then that means you made it through the first book! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's just the first, it's not always like this. But I promise you guys this book is great. You guys will love it.

⤖
Also, quick question: what guy names do you guys like? I'm kind of stuck on something.
⤖

I will be posting every other day. And if I'm late on posting then sorry. But I will try to post as much as I can :)
⤖
What did you think of this chapter?

Any mistakes?

Things you love?
⤖

Vote, comment, share!!!
Thanks for reading.
-n