All I Wanted

chapter 20

 Haizly
ALL I WANTED

Songs for this chapter;

In My Veins- Andrew Belle

Please Don't Leave Me Like This- Edward + Jane

Let Her Go- Passenger

Cinnamon- Jome
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"Come on." Caleb says as he drags me to bed with him. I smile and lay my head on his chest. He's been a little touchy ever since we got the envelope. He questioned why I was downstairs with Matilde and all I said was that I was asking her if she had any clue why Rafael wanted me, and she said 'no'.

I hate being secretive around Caleb but when I put myself in this position then I know he wouldn't let me go. I'd have a plan and know what to do and where to go, but he won't let me. So I have to hide this from him.

"Why were you so quiet today?" I ask him. He takes a while to reply. I'm nervous for his answer but I just can't help but ask. The last time I asked him something he blew up on me and I didn't talk to him until the next day. I was just asking who the hell Matilde was, but I just wished she wasn't that important. I mean not important just someone we need.

"Nothing important." His voice is off. I prop myself up on my good elbow to look at him.

"Why don't I believe you?" I ask. He looks at me and blows out a breath.

"You can believe me, Haizly. There's nothing going on so you can just drop it." There's serious behind his voice but I just can't drop it.

"Caleb, tell me. What's wrong?" I know I'm pushing but if I'm going to be his wife then he has to trust me in able to tell me things. That is how marriage works. Well not just marriage but marriage is way more important than dating.

"I don't want to fucking tell you, Haizly!" He yells. Everyone has gone to bed and I would hate for him to wake up Katherine. Not because her crying is annoying but because I can tell Eric and Hannah are exhausted.

"Stop yelling." I whisper yell to him.

"Stop yelling? This is my damn house and I can yell if I want to!" He runs a hand through his hair and stands up. "Why can't you just fucking understand that I don't want to tell you?! If I don't want to then I won't, it's final." It breaks my heart to see him like this. He's angry at me for asking him what's wrong.

It's like a repeating history from last time, except this time it feels way worse. Like if he just ripped open my chest, grabbed my heart and smashed it to the floor.

I stand up to walk over to him but he takes steps back.

"Caleb, just talk to me. If I'm going to be your wife then you should talk to me about what's been bothering you." He looks at me and it feels like my world chartered. The way he looked at me with so much hatred, it hurts. But of course I had to stay strong for him and calm him down.

"I don't think I can do this." He tells me, his eyes watering.

"W-what?" My voice is shaky. "What do you mean?" I hope it isn't what I'm thinking. He's my whole damn world, he's the reason why I'm still standing.

He looks at me. "You and I aren't good for each other." And there it is. He just didn't smash my heart to the floor but he also burned it, spit on it and left it there to rot.

"Yes we are, Caleb. We're great for each other. We've been through the chaos together and look at us, we're fine. What made you think this?" I ask. I wipe at my cheeks that my tears have stained. I hate crying. It just makes me look so weak and that is one word no one has evey used on me.

"I cheated on you!" He finally let's it out. I gasp and stare at him in shock. "I cheated on you with Matilde back in Brazil. She wasn't lying."

My world is over now. I just never thought he'd do such a thing. I thought he really loved me. But that's what happens when you fall in love at such a young age. Your naive and think that they are your world, that you can't live without them. But really it's just your mind playing games with you.

"I'm sorry." He whispers to me.

The tears are still running from my eyes to my chin rather fast, but I also have anger. So much anger and all I want to do is punch Caleb and leave him. I'll go back to New York since that was what I was planning on doing tonight when he fell asleep.

But now I have an even bigger reason to leave.

I take off the ring and throw it at him.

"You're so pathetic, I don't ever want to see you again!" I run to the door and open it.

"Haizly." I run down the stairs. The guys by the stairs looked up at us but if this wouldn't be happening Caleb would tell them to look away. But it's not that time.

"You have done this to yourself and now you have ruined it! I Don't want to listen to you." We reach the bottom of the stairs and I walk to his office. He follows.

"Yes there is. Haizly, just listen to me!" He was about to grab my arm but I moved before he could. He keeps the keys in here so I grab random ones.

I go back into the living room and tell the guys by the stairs to get the cars ready.

"Why are you taking them?" Caleb asks me in confusion. I turn around abruptly and glare at him.

"You do realize that my life is going to crap, right? Rafael is after me you asshole!" I yell in his face. I should've listened to Matilde. I shouldn't have even listened to myself when I said he didn't cheat on me with that whore! I was stupid and in love and all I wanted was to have a relationship with him. We got engaged too young and usually I would have never fallen for him nor would I say yes to a proposal. What ever happened to me? The old me? I wasn't like this before him.

"It's over." I whisper to him.

Hannah and Eric come down the stairs. "What's going on?" Hannah asks. Caleb and I stare at both of them in silence. This is so humiliating. 
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I really recommend listening to the music I put up there. They're amazing :)
-n