All I Wanted

chapter 36

Haizly
ALL I WANTED

"Oh c'mon, you can't tell me this isn't interesting for you?" I tell Caleb with my head tilted. He stares at me and shakes his head.

"Just put something down. What you see, what you feel, or whatever." He is so stubborn. I am telling him to write down on the notebook. I've been writing a lot and I wouldn't say it's a diary, it's just something I do for school. And although the teacher never reads them, I don't know why we have to write.

It's Christmas Break and he told everyone to write during it. I am making Caleb try to at least write down a sentence but he doesn't want to, saying this is "boring" and so "unlike" him.

"Haiz, this is your homework." He tells me but I just roll my eyes.

"It's not technically homework, but that doesn't mean you can't write. I just want to do this together." I shift awkwardly in my seat as I tell him. It's unlike me to do this too, but I don't know . . . it feels good. It feels good to just rant on a piece of paper where no one would ever read it or judge you. Now I get the whole fuss of a diary.

I give him the puppy eyes and he scans my face. Not even a second later he groans and opens the notebook. I smirk as he starts writing.

I already wrote down my thoughts so I wait for him to finish as I sip my warm coffee.

It feels so good with him home. It was so lonely and so quiet. And even though it was just a week without him, it felt like years.

I think back to my career choice. Do I really want to be an actress? It's what I always wanted, what I saw myself as growing up. But since I started college my dream just kind of . . . flopped. I am more into writing. I'm almost done with the notebook the professor gave us at the beginning of the year. He makes us write everyday before class and before the end of class.

Of course I found it stupid that he's making us do this when all I wanted to learn about was what roles it'd be easier to audition for. But of course, it takes a little longer than that. We started off with writing in our notebooks, then next is acting. But right when I don't want to do that choice anymore, the damn professor decides that it'd be great to do it later. It's like he knows I was re-thinking my career choice.

After a couple minutes, Caleb closes the book and puts down the pen. He sighs as he looks at me.

"Done." I grin and grab the notebook. "But don't read it." He quickly says as he grabs the notebook again.

"I won't. Why would I read it?" I ask. He shrugs then I grab the notebook again. I put it with my notebook in my backpack and stand up to put it back in my room. When I do, Caleb follows.

"I have something to do right now. I'll be back tonight, don't wait up." I furrow my brows and set my bag by the desk then turn to face him.

"Where are you going? And why would it take all night? It's barely twelve." I state. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

"It's just business, Haizly." I cross my arms over my chest and sit down on the chair of the desk. Why would I ask if I know? But why would business take all day? I guess I can just drop it and go to the store to buy some stuff to keep me busy while he's gone. Maybe I can even call Kayden?

"What do you do as business?" I ask him. He goes into the top drawer where his socks are and he takes out a gun. He puts it behind his pants and turns around to face me.