All I Wanted

chapter 47

Haizly
ALL I WANTED

I shake my head and open my mouth to defend myself but Karmen beats me to it.

"En que dimonio estabas?" Karmen yells but Caleb just looks down at her after giving me a hard glare. I felt my heart break a little but when I tell him it wasn't me, then he'll understand.

("What the hell mindset were you in?")

"Usted sabe que estaba en una mentalidad horrible."

("You know I was in a horrible mindset.")

"When was this?" She asks.

Caleb takes in a breath and rubs at his chin. "I was sixteen." Karmen's hand rises and smacks him on the cheek. He doesn't move but she just walks away and out the front door.

We stay silent and I didn't want to be the one to break it, but he doesn't seem to talk so I guess I will.

"Caleb, I-,"

"No. You told my mother about what I do. She probably thinks I'm a damn monster for it. It wasn't your damn place to tell her what I do, because she isn't your mom and your not in my place! It's not my damn fault that you ruined your relationship with your mom!"

It's like he hit me. My eyes are wide and I feel my heart break.

He had no right to bring up my mom. I was trying to get back to her but she didn't forgive me. He didn't even let me explain myself but since he told me that, why explain? He won't even listen to me either way. He'll yell and blame me for it.

Fuck.

I wipe at my eyes and walk past him.

"Haizly, I didn't mean to say that." He says.

"Then you shouldn't have opened your mouth." I grab my keys and shoes with my bad hand but he slams the door shut when I open it.

"Keep my mouth shut? Talk about the people who don't know how to!" He yells in my ear.

I know he's angry and right now I am scared shitless. I go for the knob again but he pushes me away. My back hits the edge of the couch and I wince.

"Caleb, stop." I say and put my hand in front of the both of us to get him away.

"You have no idea what I want to do to you right now!" He clenches his fists by his side and I look back at his face. He's red and angry and I don't know what to do.

"What do you want to do, Caleb? Hit me? Spit on me?" I ask. "But just know that if you so even put a finger on me I won't hesitate on hurting you myself." Realization hit him fast. His face expression wasn't an angry one and he backed away from me like a wave crashed into him. 

What was he going to do? Would he really hit me? That wouldn't be like him at all. He knows how I feel about abusive relationships. I mean I've seen my mom go through one for years. I was so little and I still remember.

"Caleb . . ." My voice cracks at the end but I don't even know what to say. Or do. Should I leave and let him think clearly or should I get out of here to clear my head?

"Haizly, I'm so sorry. It was just this rage I had in me, and you telling my mom about-,"

"I didn't tell her." He shakes his head.

"Then who the hell would? Eric? Hannah?" My mom. My mom could've told her all about Caleb but she didn't. I know they all meet up and ask each other about family issues. Does she ask about me and how I'm doing? I shake the thought away and look back at Caleb. Does he even know that I know about my mom knowing?

"Why didn't you tell me my dad had my family kidnapped?" I ask him. He stays still and stops running his hand through his hair.

"It was your mom?" I raise a brow.

"Why. Didn't. You. Tell. Me?" I ask him slowly. I narrow my eyes at him and he sighs.

"I was going to. When we were at war with Rafael, but you said we had to go in and save the world." I rolled my eyes.

"My mom wasn't the one who told Karmen. Karmen saw the news." He furrows his eyebrows.

I set my shoes down on the floor and put my keys on the couch. I stand straight and walk away from him so that I was standing by the small coffee table, the couch the only thing in between us.

"But how would they know? I had every person who worked on that damn article and made them take it off."

Is that what he was doing today? Today has been a weird twist and I just want to yell. I want to yell because of how annoyed I am for this life. I wouldn't change a thing about Caleb, but only the mafia thing.

But I guess it was bound to happen, it's New York. There's many mobsters here.

"Maybe the reporter's were desperate for some mafia news that they dug up some information about you before they took the article down?" I suggest. It sounds like something they'd do.

Caleb has been secretive about the whole mafia thing that it confuses me how the reporter's of the article know.

Unless someone ratted on him?

"Do you think someone who you work with would rat you out?" I ask. I cross my arms over my chest and he sighs.

"Crystal was working with those reporter's. She might've told someone about me. But it doesn't make sense, her dad is a mobster, too."

As in the Crystal who turned Caleb's back on me? For such a stupid reason? I hate that bitch so fucking much and she better not fucking try anything to split me and Caleb up.

"I haven't heard anything from the guys who I sent to go get her. It was a while ago so I'll check up on them." I nod.

He quickly turns on his heel and out the door. I sigh and run my hand through my hair and face.

When will this nightmare end?

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much love <3
-n