Chapter 124: I can't do this without you

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It's been almost three months since Jen and Brad split and it truly has been the hardest three months for the both of them. Five weeks ago, they had the 'talk'... the 'talk' that neither of them wanted to have... the 'talk' that both of them put off for as long as humanly possible, but the 'talk' that they both knew had to happen.

The past three months have been a reflection for both Jen and Brad. She's realising that she really cannot live without him. They've been together for eight years, they share four beautiful children and she really doesn't want to throw all that away. She knows she needs to have a conversation with him about what she's feeling but she's terrified that he's still one hundred percent certain on this separation.

So much has happened since they split. Jen has tried looking for a place for her and the kids, which proved almost impossible since their split is still very much under the radar... only a handful of people in her close friendship group knows, so in the end, she decided that it would be best for her and her families privacy if she, along with her four most beautiful creations, stayed with Courteney, David and Coco.

To say it's been difficult to prevent the media from getting wind of this would be a huge understatement. Brad still occupies their house and every day after work, Jen goes back there until all of the paparazzi leave, and then she goes back to Courteney's. Brad understands why she's doing this... she's doing this to protect her family... she's doing this to protect him. Instead of it being awkward, it's more emotionally painful... the both of them being in the same house in close proximities everyday for a few hours until they solve this. Jen still hurts everyday she sees Brad and he can see this. He sees this because he feels the same way. It kills him a little bit more each time when she leaves. He knows he's the reason for this and he's blaming himself considerably. It's his fault she's unhappy... it's his fault that she's putting up a front around their children... it's his fault that she's still absolutely miserable, and unlike the other times she's been upset, he's unable to comfort her.

He can tell that she doesn't want to be there with him, in the same house. He can tell that she wishes that they weren't public people so this would be slightly easier to hurdle around.

They also spent the girls 5th birthday apart... not apart in person but apart in their now non-existent relationship. Their children's birthdays have always been so special to them. They always make a big fuss and this time, that didn't change. They, as grown adults, still provided the best birthday their daughters could've wished for. They worked together as a team, no matter how hard it was, to make sure their two beautiful first borns, thoroughly enjoyed their day, and they did.

The girls had a fantastic birthday. They celebrated it in 'Brad's house'. Everyone came together... well, only the people who knew about their situation. She stayed over the night before and the night after, wanting to keep this as normal as possible for her daughters sake. She didn't want them to feel any different on this birthday, although things in their family circle have changed dramatically. Brad and Jen threw the most amazing party with a petting zoo, so many balloons, a disco with party lights and even a magic show.

For that one day it was like they were one big happy family. If anyone on the outside were to have seen them, it looked that way too. They were laughing together, playing with their children together, taking family photos and they even had their arms around each other at a few points during the day. But at the end of the day, they're both mature adults and they definitely were not going to let their some what of a messy break up come between the one day a year they get to celebrate their daughters.

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(Jen's P.O.V)

Brads sister has currently got the kids, she's taken them out for the day to some play centre, which the girls and River were very excited about. She's just called me saying that they're all having so much fun, especially Emery who is apparently loving the huge ball pit, but that doesn't surprise me since he's obsessed with his own ball pit.

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