Chapter thirty one: Anticipation

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"How many days late are you babe?" Brad asks as he takes my hands in his, rubbing his thumb over them in a soothing and caring way

"I think three" I don't know what else to say so I continue to look down at our hands

Brad surprises me by lifting my head up and planting a kiss on my lips. He pulls me into a hug and we stay like that for a few minutes before I lean away looking into his eyes.

"I mean this could just be a scare but I think I need to take a test. I need to know if I'm pregnant or not and then we can freak out once we know" I say as I start shaking with nerves

"Look... I know we didn't plan this yet and we wanted to wait until after we get married but if it's positive then it's positive and if it's negative then it's negative. Don't worry about it baby everything will be fine no matter what the outcome. Oh come here baby, look you're shaking" Brad always reassures me when things are uncertain and that's one of the things that I love about him.

"I haven't got any tests and I don't want to go and get any just in case someone sees. WAIT... I do have some tests. Remember when I was sick a while ago and we thought I might be but then I got my period and I didn't need to take one"

Before Brad had the time to answer me, I climb out of bed and walk to the bathroom and start rummaging through my draws. Once I find the box of tests, I take one out and Brad sits on the edge of the bathtub whilst I take it. I finish and place the cap back on the end, turn it upside down on the counter and now we just wait.

"It says to wait three minutes" I say reading the back of the box

"Whatever will be will be. If there's one line on the stick then that's fine and if there's two then we will have a baby" Brad says taking the box off if me and reading it himself

"But Brad we are so not ready for a baby yet. Of course if I'm pregnant then we will have to be ready but if not then I think I'll be slightly relieved" I look at my watch and notice that three minutes has gone by

"Right here goes" I take the upside down test in my hand

"1...2...3" I feel the need count myself down. I turn it over, my eyes still closed. I open my eyes and look down

One line... negative. A wave of relief comes over me.

"It's negative" I hand the test to Brad who takes a look

"I know we would've managed if i was pregnant but I'm okay that it's negative" I look at Brad who hands the test back to me.

"We really need to be more careful when we have sex baby. I mean if we really don't want this to happen before we get married then we need to use condoms religiously and maybe I should actually go on some kind of birth control" I explain to Brad as this situation has caused a lot of stress for me the last couple of days even though I didn't show it to anyone

"I agree baby. Like you said if it was positive then we'd make ourselves ready and of course we'd be excited. As soon as we get married we can ditch all the contraception and we can actively start trying"

"Brad... I'll be off contraception for our wedding night. That's the night to start trying. I mean how perfect would it be if we could tell our child that it was conceived on the night of it's mom and dads wedding. I mean it probably won't happen like that but it's a nice thought"

I put the box of tests and the one I just took back in the draw. For some reason I don't want to throw the used test out. I follow Brad back into the bedroom and we crawl into bed and turn the T.V on.

"What do you want to watch?" I ask Brad as he's looking through the movie channel

"What about this?" Brad stops the remote on 'The Shining'

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