behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

thirteen

"Hey, I'm gonna get you too. Another on bites the dust."

Song: Another One Bites The Dust by Queen

. . . . .

"Why did I decide to do this," Maria asked aloud, though there was nobody around to listen to her. She was being lapped constantly by two super soldiers - both of whom seemed to be enjoying themselves far more than she was. It was 5AM... who was that happy to be running around Central Park at 5AM?

The day before Maria had been finally cleared by Bruce to return to training. For the past month she had been religiously going to therapy, as well as working on making sure she was eating at least two meals a day. It had been far more difficult than she had assumed it would be. Her mental state was far worse than she had realized. Her nightmares had gotten worse, as had her dissociations. It was getting to the point that Maria would be doing anything from paperwork in her office to cooking and then she would just disconnect from the world entirely. Her mind would drift off to the trauma she had experienced over two months prior. And then she would become incredibly cold and distant to anyone and everyone - including Bucky.

Things had been different with him. He was more attentive, more caring, and much more forward than he had been during their initial meeting. Almost every single day Bucky was spending more and more time with her when he would normally be secluded in his own room. Maria wasn't complaining - getting to see him and know more about him was extremely revealing. Yet it did cause her to feel a slight bit of pain when she would distance herself from him after one of her "moments." She could feel his confusion through the bond, just as he could probably feel all of her conflicting emotions as well. That was the part about soulmates that nobody ever warned people about.

Steve explained it as a deep connection that only grew stronger as time passed. The more that Maria and Bucky bonded, and the farther their relationship advanced, the more connected they would be. Of course, he was the exception. While it might have been decades that he had known Peggy, they had only been together for maybe one. It was disheartening to think about now that Maria understood soulmates a bit better. To imagine losing Bucky, or him losing her, was unthinkable.

"That's it," she cried out, her lungs burning and legs feeling like jello. Maria slumped down against a random tree in the middle of the park and tried to catch her breath. "I'm fucking done."

A blur passed her momentarily. But then said blur walked backwards at a more glacial, human pace. Steve squatted down next to her with a smile on his face - him being barely even out of breath.

"Quitting me already?"

"I'm literally dying."

"That's a tad over dramatic, don't you think?"

"'That's a tad over dramatic-' Listen here, Capsicle! I am not a super soldier! I can't run 20 miles like it's nothing! I have seemed to have lost every bit of condition I had, so excuse the fuck out of me for not being able to run much more than 5 miles!"