behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

fiftythree*

"As I'm lying here awake, I can feel you slip away."

Song: Slip Away by Luke Hemmings

. . . . .

Bucky sat on the edge of his bed, ringing his hands through his locks and tugging harshly out of frustration. He wanted to throw the furniture around again, but after the last time he did that he had to pay for the new stuff out of pocket. Furniture isn't cheap, and being an Avenger doesn't necessarily pay the best. So he decided to go for his hair rather than pay for more furniture.

The past few weeks since Maria had been brought back to consciousness had been nothing short of stressful for everyone. Trying to determine what was wrong with her was on everyone's mind, but more on Bucky's than anyone else. He could feel everything she was feeling - the pain, the confusion, the fear that all surrounded the unknowns about her. He had been trying to get a breakthrough with her, but she was barely even talking to him anymore.

After everything the two of them had gone through, having her secluding herself from him hurt more than anything. Bucky so wished he remembered everything that had happened for himself. Maybe then he would be able to relate to her and help bridge some gaps that she had.

Or well... used to have.

It wasn't even the fact that she had remembered that made Bucky so angry at the girl. What had made him fighting mad was the fact that it felt like Maria was keeping him in the dark on purpose. He didn't understand what it was that she was keeping from him. They were soulmates - there wasn't anything she could tell him that would make him love her any less. All Bucky wanted to do was help.

And now things were worse than he could've dreamt. Maria had been turned into a weapon, just as he had. She had been infused with a substance that nobody knew much about and now had that looming over her. Bucky had so many questions, but he hadn't gotten to ask them as his own fear had taken over after she had almost killed herself in the anti-gravity chamber. The man had been so scared for her safety and what he did not know that it made him lose his temper at her. The last thing Maria needed was him berating her like he had. He felt terrible - especially when he was kicked out of her room.

"Smooth move Barnes," he muttered to himself. "Smooth fucking move."

His attention moved to the kitchen as he heard someone rattling around. He assumed it was Steve, but as the man leaned over and peered through his bedroom door, he saw a half dressed soulmate stumbling around. Bucky sighed, pushing himself off his bed to go see what she was doing. He leaned against the wall at the end of the hallway. Maria looked physically fine - minus the fact that she was barely able to stand up. She looked around the space in confusion before finally huffing and slamming her fists gently against the island. Well, it was supposed to be hard, but it seemed like she was struggling to control her limbs.