behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

onehundredandthirtynine

"All I ask is can beauty come out of ashes?"

Song: Ashes by Celine Dion

. . . . .

Journal Entry #86

In addition to training with Maria today, we also talked about Wilson. I never knew this, but apparently he had a soulmate that died when they were both in the military. I couldn't believe it when she told me - Bird Boy never seemed upset or sad... or anything. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I lost Maria under any circumstances, I would be beyond devastated. Losing her would wreck me and shake me to my core.

Because of the line of work we are in, I made Maria promise me the same thing that Sam and Riley promised each other - if something was to ever happen to me, I want her to move on. I don't want her dwelling on me and refusing to live her life. I know her, and I know that is what she would do. After seeing what it has been like with her grieving for her team, I don't ever want her to try and do that exact same thing because of me. She deserves to be happy every single moment of the day. I want her to find someone who does that for her to the best of his... or her... ability.

I want her to be with someone like Steve - someone who is compassionate and caring, but can still hang with the best of them. I think that, if I wasn't Maria's soulmate, her and Steve would be a good couple. Although just writing that makes me sick. I don't like to think about the possibility of him being with my girl. But, then again, I don't like the idea of her being with anyone who isn't me. This is just in case something tragic happens.

Either way, no matter what, I just want my girl to be happy. As long as she is happy, I will be happy.

- - - - -

The smell of burnt pancakes wafted through the apartment, hitting Maria as she walked out of the bathroom. The girl quickly threw on a t-shirt and underwear before walking into the small kitchen.

"Fucking hell- oops, sorry JB."

What awaited her was a very unhappy Steve Rogers surrounded by a huge mess. For a man who was always extremely tidy, he had been quite destructive in his apparent attempt to cook breakfast. Steve was good at many things, like changing diapers and using a shield to debilitate evil men, but cooking was not his strong suit - especially when he had a sixteen month old on his hip.

Maria leaned against the fridge as he scrambled around one armed to try and salvage the burning breakfast. But it was a wasted attempt, seeing as every single pancake was the color of her hair. Explicative phrases followed by apologies fell from his lips, causing her to release a giggle. This alerted him to her presence - the man turning to look at her whilst covered from head to toe in flour.

"Anyone who ever thinks that Captain America doesn't have a mouth on him would be in utter shock right now."

"You think you're hilarious, don't you?"