behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

onehundredandsixty

"Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me."

Song: New Divide by Linkin Park

. . . . .

Journal Entry #174

It worked.

It fucking worked.

I'm no longer bound to 10 russian words.

I don't think I have cried this much in a long time.

When Shuri brought me out of cryo, I was skeptical that anything had actually been done. It felt like a few hours had gone by at the max. But she assured me that a full workup and process of things had been done on me, and that the words should be completely deactivated. There was only one way to test it out though.

Someone had to try and activate the winter soldier.

They put me in a containment room, per my request, in order to keep me from hurting something if it had not worked. The only person in the room with me was Nakia, who knew Russian. I had asked for Maria, but they told me that she was visiting Natasha and Bruce. T'Challa stood right outside the door, as did Shuri, to make sure they could intervene if necessary.

As she began speaking, I felt my heart rate skyrocket. My eyes were shut tight as she continued on through the words. I could hear the sacredness in her voice - but i think it was more for me and less for herself. Everyone wanted me to be better, to be fixed, the be whole again.

By the time she got to the last word, it was like a breath of fresh air. My eyes shot up and met hers as we both realized it worked. I fell to the floor shortly after, sobbing hard because fuck, I'm finally free. I'm not him anymore, nor will I ever be. I can finally just be James Buchanan Barnes.

I can't wait till Maria gets back. I know that she will be just as excited as I am. God I miss her. And I love her. We can finally start our normal life together.

. . . . .

"Bruce," both Maria and Steve yelled simultaneously as they rushed over to where the green man had fallen. The glove fell off his hand, going dark as it landed on the ground. Maria knelt down at Bruce's head, slowly rubbing and patting as she took a look at him. His arm was burnt completely to pieces - rising from the tips of his fingers and extending into his chest. It lay limp and crisp with steam billowing off the top of it. Clint kicked the glove away.

"Don't move him," Tony ordered as he moved to Bruce's damaged arm. He began spraying it down with an adhesive spray as a precaution. But that time, Bruce was finally coming to, panting heavily at the pain he was experiencing.

"You did good, Bruce," Maria whispered down to him with a smile. "She would have been so proud."

"D- Did it work," the man asked, gasping for air through broken moans of pain. Maria could hear the doors opening as people began to move to see what the outside world looked like.