behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

fiftynine

"I've been sleepwalking, been wandering all night. Tryna take what's lost and broke and make it right."

Song: Burning House by Cam

. . . . .

So when Maria said that she had been sleeping well, that might have been false advertisement. She had been "sleeping well" considering everything she had been through. But the nightmares still plagued her mind given that her personal dream catcher was thousands of miles away. Maria was lucky to get a few hours at a time, despite the exhaustion from working on the farm and training her powers.

It wasn't anything new for her to be wide awake at 2AM. She would bundle up to fight the night air and go sit on her rock out by the pond. A lot of times she would take a journal with her and write until her hand was cramped. It was one of the only things that allowed the girl to think and comprehend all of her thoughts. Not only that, it helped her decipher what was reality and what wasn't. Maria still got flashbacks to her time in captivity, but sometimes her brain would simply make hallucinations that felt real enough that she questioned them. Either way, Maria did a damn good job at hiding them when they happened around the Bartons.

As she was sitting next to the pond, Maria could hear baby Nathaniel crying. She almost got up to go and relieve Laura for a while, but then she heard the crying stop which meant his mother had already gotten to him. It got Maria instantly thinking about the future.

Does Bucky even want kids? Can we even have them? Who the fuck am I kidding? We are too fucked up to take care of ourselves, much less take care of miniature versions of one another. And besides, our life doesn't allow for that. Clint and Laura are the exceptions.

It was slightly frustrating. Up until she met Bucky, Maria hadn't ever thought about having children. It just didn't seem like something she would want or need. But after developing a relationship with her soulmate, things changed. Maria sometimes dreamt about what their future children might be like. Would they have her hair? Would they have Bucky's eyes? Would they have some sort of superpower, or be normal? It was a lot to consider, and the girl hadn't ever even talked to her soulmate about it. Chances were good that babies were the last thing that a semi-stable 100 year old man would want.

"Fuck," groaned Maria as her head began pounding once more. The girl recognized the type of pain and laid back on the rock, shutting her eyes to prepare for the worst. Once she opened them, Maria was standing once again in a dark room - face to face with the man she hated most in the world.

"Good to see you again, Persephone."

"What the fuck do you want this time, Grant," she asked. "Haven't you taken enough from me already?"

"What? Did Barnes finally find out the truth about his time at home?"

"Keep his fucking name out of your mouth."