behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

onehundredandsixtyeight*

"I'll be yours for a thousand lives."

Song: For You by Rita Ora and Liam Payne

. . . . .

Journal Entry #130

What do I want?

Such a loaded question.

If you would have asked me when I was younger, my answer would have been much different than it is today.

But sitting here, watching Maria sleep after her being gone because of our stupid fight, the answer is pretty damn simple.

I want her.

I want the good. The bad. The ugly. The sad. The terrifying. The happy. The joy. I want all of it - as long as it's with her. I want kids. I want a life. I want more than what being a superhero has given me - a chance at simple and stress free. I'm done with the fighting. I just want peace and prosperity. But none of that matters if I don't have Maria.

So.. what do I want?

I want Maria.

- - - - -

"Bucky," Maria murmured in her sleep. She was gripping onto the covers with an insane amount of force as his name continuously spilled from her lips. But when she jolted awake, her panic became real. Maria looked around frantically as she came to the realization that her soulmate wasn't beside her. That caused her to start yelling. "Bucky?! Bucky?! Bucky?!"

The girl continuously shouted his name as she made her way through their home in search for her soulmate. Fear was creeping up through her, overshadowing any other emotions in search for him. Maria was afraid that he was gone - that it had all been some dream. Maybe they hadn't really won. Maybe they hadn't been reunited. Maybe she was finally going insane.

"Maria?"

"Bucky," the girl all but screamed as she sprinted down the stairs towards their lab when she heard the familiar sound of her husband's voice. In a matter of seconds, Maria saw him standing in the middle of the room. He looked to be finishing the initial intake on everything there was to know about Vision for their attempt at bringing the android back. When he saw her standing at the bottom of the stairs with tears streaming down her face, the man was quick to leave his work and scoop her into his arms.

"Hey, hey. I'm here... I'm here... It's okay," Bucky cooed soothingly as she clung onto him tightly. Maria felt like she could finally breathe again, relishing in his hold. It had only been a few weeks since everything had happened, but the feeling of having him was still somewhat foreign. Every single night she dreamt that it was all some big figment of her imagination - that he wasn't really back, and Maria was still a failure.