behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

twenty

"Runnin in the shadows. Damn your love, damn your lies."

Song: The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

. . . . .

"Then Steve brought me here," Bucky said, finishing his long winded journey through his past. "Now you know - that is what my life has been like. Wow... I didn't think it would be so easy to say this to you."

Easy was a bit of a stretch. There were numerous times where Bucky had been forced to pause his story because he got choked up. A few times he had actually cried. Maria had been silent the entire time, taking in his words and comforting him when it was needed. She was in shock to hear everything that had happened to him - all of the traumatic things he had been through. The girl had a new appreciation for her soulmate.

If he was able to tell her all of that, then she could tell him what had happened to her.

"So, does this change how you feel about me? I understand if it does. It's a lot to digest-"

"No," Maria stated quickly, a soft smile on her face. "If anything, it proves what I already knew."

"Which was?"

"That you are one of the strongest, bravest people that I know. Bucky, I never want you to feel like that past defines who you are now. I don't see the machine that HYDRA built. I see the guy from the '40s who would do anything to protect those that he loved. What you went through... I can't imagine..."

"I would say it was nothing - shrug it off and act like it was something minor. But it wasn't. I... I struggle every single day. But I've been wanting to actually tell you all of that for a while. And it isn't everything, but it's the big stuff. The things that really defined what my life was like."

"I want you to know that you can always talk to me about this - about what happened to you. I may not fully be able to related, but I will always listen."

"Thank you, doll," smiled Bucky. "Now, your turn?"

"My turn," nodded Maria, taking a full, deep breath and organizing her thoughts. She knew that this was going to be harder for her than it was for him - verbalizing everything that had happened for the first time since the incident. But it was time. And whether she liked it or not, she needed to tell him everything.

- - - - -

April 10, 2008

"Are you getting Dorito dust all over my keyboard Stark?"

Maria laughed and kept working on her paper, munching on her half eaten bag of chips.

"If you are going to complain then I'm not going to share with you Willie."

"Fine, but you're cleaning them. Now pass the bag before you eat them all."

The girl laughed, gave him the bag and grabbed another book. It was her second year at MIT, and she still hated writing synthesis papers as much as she did the year before. But Will, being the English geek he was, had offered to help as long as she provided some snacks. Maria and Will become quick friends when first arriving in Massachusetts because they were both the youngest ever to start the program.