behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

onehundredandfiftyseven

"Some folks were born made to wave the flag. They're red, white and blue."

Song: Fortunate Song by Creedence Clearwater Revival

. . . . .

Journal Entry #2

Hi. Uh, I guess you already know who this is huh? Well, I had a dream last night about my past. About some people in it. And it scared me.

Because I knew them.

I figured out why Tony seemed so familiar to me. It's because I knew his parents, specifically his father, Howard Stark. I knew him from the war. He had been one of the SSR guys that helped Steve with making his shield and uniform. He was funny and charismatic and very smart. The two of us bonded over giving Steve a hard time and our love of science. He even offered me an internship at Stark Industries once the war was over.

But that didn't happen.

I killed him. And Maria. It was an assignment I had in the 90s. And, as the Winter Soldier, I executed my mission without flaw. For that guy, it was great. For me, it's a constant nightmare. I keep seeing their faces as I killed them - hearing their last cries of breath. And it's eating me up inside.

I know I have to tell Tony. But I know it will break him. And it will cause a massive rift within the group. I don't want to put Steve in the middle of it. I don't want him to play referee. I just can't keep pretending to be a good guy... when I'm not.

Maybe Tony will be understanding. Maybe he won't try to kill me. But I will understand if he does.

I guess all good things, no matter how short lived they are, come to an end, huh?

- - - - -

The army base was thriving with life as Maria and Steve slipped inside the gates. The sign on the gate assured her that the two of them had made it to the correct location - Camp Lehigh Army Base. Also known as the birthplace of Captain America.

"Clearly you weren't actually born here, right?"

"The idea of me was," Steve said as he rolled his eyes at the girl. "Are you going to stop messing with your clothes anytime soon?"

"Sorry," Maria muttered as she kept fidgeting with the waistband of her skirt. "I'm just not a 'skirt' kind of girl. Pantsuits are more my style."

"Well, I think you look great," the man told her cheekily, earning him a slap on his shoulder.

"Not the time, nor the place. Although, I am loving the 70s hair style. But back on task. Imagine you're SHIELD running a quasi-fascistic intelligence organization. Where do you hide it?"

"In plain sight," Steve announced as he stopped dead in his tracks. The man looked towards an armory, which made Maria nod. According to army regulations, it is forbidden to store munitions within five hundred yards of the barracks. Maria tapped on her glasses, scanning the insides of the building. She noted heat signatures riding an elevator down towards an underground facility.