behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

the end

Song: Main on End by Alan Silvestri

. . . . .

As I am sitting here, crying in my apartment, I am feeling the most overwhelming emotions.

Nearly one year and eight months ago I decided to publish my very first book. This decision came at a time when the coronavirus was running rampant, and mental health was practically nonexistent. I chose to start writing in order to cope with the horrors of everyday life and create a world from the daydreams I had been having for months. A world that included me in it, to an extent.

Thus, Behind Blue Eyes was conceived.

Now, the original name wasn't the name of this cover by Limp Bizkit. And the series was broken up into six different books. There are some of you who were around during this time frame. You sat and read every single word I wrote despite the fact that it was my first time and so poorly written. You have my heart, my respect, and all of my love. Thank you for sticking with me during that time.

I made the decision seven months and three days ago to rewrite this story. I felt that it was one that needed to be told, but that it lacked a lot before it would be even close to impactful. So I swallowed my pride and got to work. Some of you came in during this time period, and aren't you glad you did. Every single comment and like has been taken with a full heart of appreciation. I see every word each of you write to me - all of the jokes and pointing out the spelling errors that still occur and all of the tears that you've shed. I've felt that rollercoaster of emotions right along with each and every one of you... trust me.

This is for you guys - for the people who are in love with the idea of being loved by a fictional character. I wanted to create something fresh, new, and captivating. And I wanted to weave lessons in as well. We discussed mental health, coping mechanisms, grief, arguements, and sex. I think we can all agree that we have grown over the course of this story.

I want each of you to know that you are loved by me. You are worthy of all love, even if you don't have a soulmate tattoo.

All beginnings have endings.

All firsts have lasts.

This is me signing off from Behind Blue Eyes.

But not from this fictional universe.

Change is hard for me. I don't do endings very well. I like for the story to continue on and on until it has been beaten to death. This is why I am publishing a sequel. This story will focus on the next generation of heroes from this soulmate alternate universe. I can tell you now that cannon might only be followed a small amount of time. I have a story, and I want to tell it in the way that I have pictured it.

If you want to stick around, then please check out Take Cover.

In this space right here, I want each of you to comment about your experience. I want to hear from each of you about your emotions and feelings in regards to this book. And if you would like to become friends, then send me a personal message so that we can exchange some contact information. I feel like each of you are my family, and I want to get to know you all better.

I love you all 3000. And I am with each of you till the end of the line.

emma