behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

onehundredandtwentyfour

"'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me."

Song: All The Things She Said by Lena Katina and t.A.T.u.

. . . . .

"Maria, I love you, forever."

The screen that had once been home to his wife turned black almost as suddenly as it had turned on. Bucky squeezed his fists and eyes shut quickly, trying his best not to lose his shit.

That didn't work.

Thirty minutes later, the man was being pushed outside with Natasha. The woman was berating him about how expensive everything was that he had broken, he they were guests in the palace, and how they didn't have time to throw temper tantrums because the fate of the world was at stake and they "had more important issues."

"I mean seriously, Barnes," scoffed Natasha. "Act your age - not your shoe size!"

"I get it," the man grumbled. "You can stop treating me like a child."

"Do you get it? Because you can't just go around losing your shit because things aren't working out the way you want them to!"

Bucky was slowly beginning to lose his patience as she continued to argue with him. He liked Natasha well enough, but she was just as much of a strong willed trained assassin as he was. Neither of them liked to back down off of whatever hill they decided to live or die on. But Bucky was about to not be level headed anymore. That was what seemed to happen when Maria wasn't around. He seemed to lose all sense of himself.

"Наташа, ради бога оставь меня к черту," he shouted angrily. "Моя жена без меня борется с Таносом, так что я думаю, что заработал себе долбанный перерыв."

Bucky had most assuredly lost his cool. The woman's eyes went wide as she took a step back from him, giving him room to breathe. He turned around and closed his eyes. Bucky took as deep of a breath as he could. His flesh fingers fumbled inside of his uniform until he had the chain he was wearing out. Bucky gripped onto the ring and dog tag for dear life, keeping himself centered. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about how scared Maria looked.

He wasn't even mad that she was out there fighting. He got it - he really did. Bucky knew who she was and how she worked. What was upsetting was the fact that Bucky wasn't there with her. As much as Maria craved control, so did he. All the man wanted was to be there by her side, keeping his eye on her and having her back. It wasn't like his wife was across the continent. She was somewhere across the entire galaxy... without him.

"I'm just... I'm scared," muttered the man, who was slowly breaking apart. Bucky loathed crying, but he especially hated it when it was around anyone other than Maria. But he figured that there wasn't any time to be self-conscious about it. Bucky felt Natasha's hand rub his shoulder from behind. "What if... What if that was the last time I get to see her? What if she dies out there, without me? What if she doesn't know how much I love her?"