behind blue eyes [bucky barnes]

thirtytwo

"Hey, look what you've done now. I'm fucked and hope you're proud."

Song: Tantrum by Waterparks

. . . . .

Maria tried to put her hand on Bucky's thigh, but he grabbed it before she could rest it there and threw it back at her. Wanda looked at the girl and gave Maria a sad smile, knowing exactly why he was so pissed. Everyone did, it wasn't really a secret.

When people did speak, it was at a very low volume. With the bond they shared, Maria could instantly feel what he was feeling. But everyone else didn't even have to have that bond to know he was pissed. So much so that even Steve didn't dare get in his path.

As the quinjet took off, Maria could see her soulmate clench his jaw as he continuously played over the events of the mission in his head. She could feel the anger seeping over from him into her, making her skin crawl and stomach churn. She wanted to just put her head in the sand to hide away from the horrid vibes she was receiving. Bucky wouldn't even look over at her - his eyes staying glued to the floor the entire jet ride.

It was only when the plane landed that Bucky finally looked up from the floor. The other teammates left - either going to the med bay or the offices for debriefing. Nobody wanted to be there when he blew up on the girl, which was bound to happen. In her defense, Maria didn't want to be there either.

"Listen, I-"

Maria didn't get the chance to finish because the moment she opened her mouth, the man stood up and stormed away. It was a borderline temper tantrum, and had it not been towards Maria, she would've most assuredly laughed. But what had happened clearly wasn't a laughing matter.

The girl leaned her head against the cold metal of her seat, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She didn't want to cry, but feeling what Bucky was feeling made it too hard not to. Maria was pissed at herself, but also at Bucky.

When Maria was finally able to, she got up and went to her floor. She walked up to Bucky's door and tried to open it, only to see that it was locked. Rather than having FRIDAY unlock the door she just went to her room. As she stood there staring at her empty bedroom, the girl felt incredibly alone. Maria decided to take a bath, thinking it might help her. It normally did after a long and hard mission, but not this time. Soaking in the hot suds did nothing but make her miss Bucky. But her pride wasn't going to let her go running to fix things. Even if they were just a tiny bit her fault.

Once she finished and got dressed in one of her soulmates sweatshirts, Maria climbed into bed in search of some much needed rest. But her bed felt cold and empty, much like her heart. She tried desperately to sleep off what had happened, but she couldn't. Not being next to Bucky left her uncomfortable and plagued with nightmares. Maria felt incredibly vulnerable not having her human shield keeping her safe when she slept. The entire night was spent with Maria wallowing in her own self pity and hoping that she and Bucky could reconcile their differences in the morning.