Dreamland Review Archive

Kingdom Come (T)

Kingdom Come written by poison-kills-poison

 i. COVER & TITLE

As much as I like the aesthetics of this cover, I don't think it's as powerful nor as representative of the story as I think it could be. It's a great cover, but it doesn't hold that oh boy, that's beautiful, I need to read it now feeling that excellent covers have. I'd suggest exploring how you can spruce up this cover in a way that still aligns with your interests. Think more political, while keeping in the image-idea of cities. (I have noticed you've requested a cover from Dreamland, so this portion might be a little useless as of now.)

As for your title, I really like it. It's really my style, but looking at it impartially, I still get the sense it would work well for most readers. I'm not sure what it means yet, but I don't think that's always essential with book titles.

ii. BLURB

I love the hook you have in your blurb, and I do like how short it is. However, I think it's a bit confusing starting with the first paragraph, and it's so broken up after that that it lacks a little bit of cohesion. I would consider trying to condense the blurb. Go through each sentence, ask yourself if those words are necessary, and then see if you can combine the sentences you've deemed absolutely essential in a way that flows just a bit better. Here's my rewrite:

A rigged game is how he described it, and he was right. With the rise of mega-corporations, infertile land and war, it's almost too easy for the ruling political party to rally citizens into believing the saying, "survival of the fittest."

London is one of the fittest. Her uncharted ambition is what has her chasing headlines as a journalist, but she's finding it's hard to make a name for herself in a world where some have plenty and others have none at all.

Emir, on the other hand, is a controversial public figure whose recent announcement is most assuredly going to pull London's world apart. Even so, the pull she feels towards him sits like a loaded gun in the hands of his enemies And they're both learning a hard lesson.

This stairway to power is ruthless.

I'm not sure I've encompassed the same sort of idea you wanted to come across, but I've done my best, as I was a little confused with some of the blurb. I think you could look at what I've written, what you've written, and see what you can do with the blurb on your own, as you know it best.

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