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Chapter reviewed: Prologue -4 Username: rosiepye Title: Two of a kind.
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TITLE:
Very generic. I won’t say it’s bad, but if I see the title in a bookstore, I won’t even look twice. Every romance is a story of two people unless you write a polygamy relationship.
COVER: It’s actually very good. I would appreciate it more if you use a different font for the title. There’s one thing I am not a fan of. It’s the fire in the middle. Not sure how that works. The fire doesn’t really surround the body, right? Or does the person controls the fire in front of him? I don't like the subtitle. There's nothing special to it. Again, a very generic, typical, or love story.
BLURB: You don’t have a blurb, basically. You have an excerpt, which is…not good for you and not good for me as a reader. We need to know what the story is about. You don’t do ‘clickbait’, indirectly asking us to actually click on the chapters to see what the story is about. People don’t give much thought to a random book that doesn’t attract them. And because your excerpt isn’t interesting to hook us in, it would give you another unnecessary barrier for you to find a reader.
Try and work on your blurb. Try to not make an excerpt into a blurb. It screams amateur (well, we are all amateurs, but try to be the better one).
CONTENT/PLOT: *As a warning, let me tell you this. I am almost always against prologues.*
You know, because I have read the same type of prologue a thousand times since I started Wattpad 3 years ago (this might or might not be an exaggeration) I directly knew it was about the birth of the MC right from the very first sentence. In fact, 800 out of 1000 prologues I have read was about the birth of the MC.
Can you tell me why you, as a writer, want me, your reader, to read something that I am sure, even you, have read before in other books? What’s the plus point to it? Everyone has a birthday. And nobody wants to know what happens on anyone’s birthday.
I know you want to show the odd power the male MC has right after his birth. Which can easily be incorporated in the narration of the main story in a line or two, or in the king's dialogue or something like that? You don’t need to write 1.5k words simply to show that.
