Challenge Accepted (T)

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Challenge Accepted written by TVD_Lover1999

Challenge Accepted written by TVD_Lover1999

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i. COVER & TITLE

I like how your cover gives us a clear message of what this book will be about, but it lacks professionalism. While the colours, characters and soccer ball are all great aspects, the little designs make it hard to know what I'm looking at, and the thin font of the title increases that problem. I think you should work with a designer to not make an entirely new cover, but to fix up some of the problems I mentioned here.


ii. BLURB

Your blurb is pretty good, but I had some problems with the organization. Some of the most interesting stuff didn't come until the end, and it felt, as a whole, just a little messy. I felt you spent a lot of words talking about unnecessary things, and that space could be used otherwise. Here's how I would rewrite it:

Despite loving the sport with all her heart, Hayley has never played soccer for her school team. Until now, she avoided the team so as not to take the spotlight off one of her closest friends. 

But now things have to change. There's a scholarship up for grabs, and Hayley can't waste this opportunity for any reason. But can two people still remain good friends when they're competing for the same thing? And what happens when somewhere along the way, they start thinking of each other as a little more than just a good friend?

So this blurb is much more condensed, much more organized, and now it also leaves space for you to add in some more information on Hayley that might help pique the reader's interest even more.

1 1 / 1 5


semicolons

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semicolons

The semicolon is a useful form of punctuation that separates two independent yet related clauses. Because both clauses must be independent, a semicolon is interchangeable with a period, and it's only preferred over the period in some cases because the sentences are so closely related. However, the semicolon is often used in place of a comma, which is incorrect. For example:

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