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Title: The Gunner and The Florist Username: CrystalCallistral Chapters reviewed: 1-5
TITLE The title is okay-ish. No comment, actually because it's very straightforward.
COVER What I like most about the cover is the flower and blood on the font. That's brilliant, in my opinion. However, the background used is very drab and unappealing, especially when the quality of the picture is very low. If you like it to look like a typical romance story, which could help attracting romance readers, then the cover might work for your preference.
BLURB From the 5 chapters I've read, the blurb is understood nicely. Starting the blurb with 'there's a war in London' is a nice touch. I just hope to see a bit more mention on the war in the blurb that relates to Lennox or/and Ren a bit more clearly.
CONTENT You started the story decently. Introducing the MC, Lennox, and the mother, who sounds very much irresponsible like how you want her to be, I believe.
You also mentioned the war a bit here and there, the aftermath of the war, and the gang/group which we'd learn about later.
The setting in the 1st chapter is the flower shop and the house. It's actually quite typical to read about gays/lgbtq characters working in a flower shop. I read many of the same background already on Wattpad. Not sure what the writers are trying to show, and it's not inherently bad, just becoming a bit cliche for lgbtq story.
There's this scene where Lennox walks to the coffee shop with his brother. I'm not sure what you're trying to show there. The coffee shop scene and the brother's are highly unnecessary. Perhaps you want to introduce us to the kid, but simply having the boy helping in the shop is sufficient. If you want to keep the coffee shop scene, try to make the conversation between the owner and the MC meaningful. They could talk about the war, which I see is the main background of the story.
I asked whether you wrote omniscience. You said 'yes, somewhat'. But I highly believe that you don't write in omniscience, so the slip you have in the second scene is actually a head hopping. Head hoping is when you get into another character's mind when the scene/pov doesn't even belong to the character. You write in subjective, in Lennox's pov to be exact. Don't get into another character's head. Don't describe what another character feels/sees. The part is here:
