Shivaay (T)

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Shivaay written by Shreyansh06

Shivaay written by Shreyansh06

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i. COVER & TITLE

I really love this cover! The picture is dark enough to give off mystery but light enough to let us see what's going on. The design and fonts are beautiful! The only thing I have to mention is that the use of the number in your author's name does look unprofessional, and you're probably better to put your real pen name there or whatever name you'd go by if this were a published book. It just looks a bit better.

The title, although it's only the name of your main character, is good enough for me. It's interesting, representative and unique. All my boxes are checked!


ii. BLURB

I really like the shortness of your blurb, and it overall has a lot of good aspects. However, I had some difficulties with the first sentence. Grammatically, it doesn't make any sense, which is really bad for a first sentence or hook. Additionally, you start with the full name of your character, even including the middle name, which is something I always advise against. Your readers need something to hook them in and keep them—throwing words at them that they don't understand and are new to them is not the way to do that.

As for the rest of your blurb, I don't see any real issues. You get to the plot and the point very quickly, and you tell us exactly what's going to happen. Great! I'd only recommend changing your hook.

1 2 / 1 5


i

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i. PUNCTUATION

Sometimes I do have some confusion in your story that comes from the lack of commas. Remember that commas are added in every time you want to connect separate thoughts. That is, when you 'move on' from one idea to the other. For example:

"I am not doing anything and you know love is not my thing."

Not doing anything and knowing love is not his thing are two different ideas, and they need a comma to separate them, otherwise the reader will try to connect them in the middle there and get confused. They'll get it eventually, but it'll slow them down. Correction:

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