Eleanor Snape- Book 5, Part 2

Mood Swings

I got to have a One on One Sescion with  Gilderory everyday and time to talk afterward, which made my mood go from sad and mopey, to happy and bubbley. My appitiete picked up. Even some of the anxiety was slowly going away. Healer Green said this was something called a Manic  Episode, which is something I was having because of my Bipolar Disorder. Apparently, before hand, I was having a Depressive Episode. He warned me that my Manic Episode, which caused extreme happiness, wouldn't last forever. Eventually, I will be sad again, he just couldn't predict when.

Since it wouldn't last for long, I tried to make the most of it. Because of this, I was too distracted in therapy with Healer Green to get anything accomplished. He would want to have serious conversation, and all I would want to do is, well, anything but. After a week of this, we decided that enough was enough. To make any progress at all, he would have to get down to business. 

So, the next time I had therapy, the first thing he did was make me lay down on the couch. He had Lucius stand at my head and rub my shoulders.

"Eleanor, it's a good thing you're so happy, but we need to talk. I want you to relax. Just close your eyes and relax..." Healer Green instructed. I did as he asked. As my breathing slowed, I felt Lucius's hands move from my shoulders to my temples. My grip on Melvin, who I was golding across my chest, loosened. "I'm going to ask you some things, and they're going to be very difficult for you, but you have to try your hardest. I am warning you, you are going to get emoitonal, but that's okay. Do what ever you need to do to answer me, okay?" I stayed silent. "Eleanor? Can you hear me?"

"Yes." I wispered. I could hear papers rattleing around. 

"Don't open your eyes. I want you to think really hard, and I want you to tell me the happiest memory you can think of."

"The happiest?" I repeated. 

"Yes. A moment that fills you with joy."

"Well..." I swollowed and thought back. "This one time, back before I had to train the Snatchers... it was warm out, and the sun was going down. I talked Uncle Severus into taking a walk with me... We-We walked around Spinner's End in the nice weather, watching the sun set. We... took Orion with us. When we got back, instead of going inside, we sat in the front lawn and watched the stars. Well, actually he stood, but I sat... He was never one to do anything like that... I could tell he did it... Did it because he wanted to make me happy..." I finally broke down and opened my eyes. I could now see that Healer Green was sitting infront of me, writing things down on a clipboard. I quickly sat up.

"Stop writing it! Stop it! No!" I sprung off the couch and jerked it out of his hands. I read what he had written. Sure enough, it was everything I had said. "No!" I pulled the paper off the board and started to rip it up. Healer Grean got out of his seat and touched my arm. I jerked away. "No!"

Tons of anger was building up. Unlike usual, it wasn't accompanied by sadness. Just pure, raw, rage. How could he? What I told was him between me and him and Lucius! Putting it on paper meant anyone could read it. I didn't want anyone to read it! There are lots of things I'm ashamed of that I didn't want anyone reading. I didn't want anyone knowing about me whom I didn't approve of. 

"Eleanor," He started, stepping towards me. I ran to the other side of the room.

"Shut up!" 

"This is a bad mood swing." I head him quietly tell Lucius as he walked by him. 

"Shut up! No it's not! It's not!"

"I'm sorry I wrote it down without your permission. I will not do it again." He came over to me. Since I was against the wall, I had no choice but to stay where I was. I slid down to the floor and began to cry. I covered my face. Lucius came over to us, carrying Melvin. Healer Green took him from my caretaker and squated down to my level, offering the dragon to me. I slowly looked up, sniffing. "I won't do it again, okay?" I looked at him a moment before causiously taking Melvin and tightly hugging him.