Eleanor Snape- Book 5, Part 2

Planning to Move Forward

After Dinner, Healer Green met with Lucius and I in my room. 

"Eleanor, we need to talk about your outburst yesterday, and how we are going to punish you for your actions." He started. I stiffened: Oh, no. 

"I don't remember..." I trailed off. He nodded. 

"I understand that, and I want you to know that  I know you can't control it. Or, you have a hard time doing it, atleast. While you were talking to Gilderory, Lucius and I were discussing what we should do. We came to the agreement that, since you can not control your outbursts, we will reward you for posative behavior. If you misbehave, you will simply not be rewarded. Does that sound okay?" I nodded my head yes.

"What would you like your reward to be?" Lucius asked, smiling. I shrugged my shoulders. It's not like they could give me the two things I really wanted. After all, they were dead. Unless they could bring them back it would be impossible. Secondly, there was no way that the Healers would let me out. "There has to be something you would like?"

I thought for a moment, scanning the room. My eyes rested on the window. Sunlight brightly flowed in. I closed my eyes and thought about the many times I laid in it's warm rays. Then, my thought shifted to the many nights I had watched the flickering stars. That was always my favorite, even when I was a child. The sky was just so beautiful. So limitless. It never ended. 

I opened my eyes back up and motioned for Lucius to come near me. I had a feeling I shouldn't be speaking out loud. I wasn't sure why: it was just a hunch. 

"May I go outside and watch the stars? Please?" I wispered in his ear. He smiled.

"Of course. I don't see why you couldn't." He warmly replied before looking up a Healer Green. "She wants to go star gazing." He passed on the message. Healer Green nodded.

"That can be arranged." He nodded. "So you like astronomy?" I weakily nodded my head yes. "I think there is a couple books on Astronomy in the Hospital Library."

"There's a Library?" I quietly questioned.

"Yes. Would you like to go?" He offered. I quickly shook my head no. There could be other people there and I didn't want ot see them. "Okay then. Maybe sometime later. But that brings me to the next thing I wanted to talk to you about.

"I am very proud of you for becoming such good friend with Gilderory. I know it is very hard for you to open up and make friends, but you did it. Now that you're made friends with him, I would like you to try a Group Discussion Sescion again." I shook my head again. He came a little closer to me. "I know it scares you to think about meeting new people, but I promise it will be the same four people as last time, as well as Gilderory, since he has agreed to switch groups so you can have him with you."  I looked down, tearful. "Again, I understand it scares you, but imagine if I hadn't of pushed you to talk to Gilderory? The two of you wouldn't be friends right now." I considered this: he was right. And I really didn't want to lose Gilderory from being my friend.

"OKay..." I mumbled. He grinned.

"Great! You will go to your first Sescion next week. Now, I have another matter to discuss with you. The only thing you do is mope around in your room, with the exeption of talking to Gilderory. I know there must be something you like doing. You need to start picking up some of your old interests. Get a hobby."

"But I don't want too..."

"That's the depression talking. I'm sure if you started applying yourself, you would enjoy it. What did you like to do?" He asked. I crossed my arms and looked down. I had told him no, so why was he stll insisting?  "Eleanor?" I shook my head no.

"She is a very gifted pianist." Lucius put in from behind me. I felt a deep blush fall across my face.

"Oh? We have a Music room, if you would like to see it?" Healer Green offered. I didn't move. "Eleanor?"

"I think it would be nice." Lucius added. He took my hand and gave it a small tug. "Come on, Elle. Lets go look at it." 

"No..." I whispered, shakely. He gave it another tug. 

"Come on." Both men looked at me expectingly. I felt myself tear up as I stood. 

"I don't want to..." I said again. A tear slid down my face. Healer Green saw this.

"It's okay. You don't have to go if you don't want to." He said. Lucius let go of my hand. I slowly walked over to my bed and sat on it. 

"Thank you..." I sniffed. 

"You will go when you are ready, but I would really like it if you tried to go. I think once you push yourself to take that step foward, you will enjoy it. But I am still very proud of the progress you have made since you first came. Now you will talk to Lucius as well as myself. And he tells me you will speak to Mrs. Malfoy, even if it is only a little. Gilderory. Healer Fuchs." (I smiled a bit at the name) "It's all a matter of letting yourself trust people. I think you are doing a wonderful job." He complimented. I laid down and rolled over, so not to face him. I was getting tired of hearing him talk, plus I was getting tired. Usually after dinner I just took my night Combination and went to bed. The normal rutien was making me sleepy, even if I wanted to sleep or not. "Are you tired?"

"Uh-huh." I yawned. I looked at his watch, and then at me. "I will let you sleep then. But before I leave, how about you visit the Music Room tommorrow? I promise there won't be anyone else there."

"You promise?" I asked. He shook head.

"Gryffindor's Honor." He replied, then went towards the door. "Goodnight. Sleep well." I didn't answer, so he went the rest of the way out the door. Lucius picked up my Combination, took the stopped out of the top, and handed it to me. I drank it all and handed the empty conatiner back to him. I was asleep in five minutes flat.