Eleanor Snape- Book 5, Part 2

Narcissa and Lucius Consider My Happiness

I slept with Lucius and Narcissa for the next two weeks. Then I slept in mine and Draco's room, with him on a cot and myself in the bed, like we had done in St. Mungo's. The next two nights I slept with my parents again, then in our room again. Bedtime was a speratic ritual that usually came with anxiety, crying, and, the lest often, shouting. Some of them were better than other, but when they were bad, they were really bad. One night Narcissa insisted I try to sleep in mine and Draco's room, and I got angry and threw a potted plant across the room. It broke against the wall and shattered, leaving a mess of dirt and leaves on the floor. 

Healer Phillips insisted this behavior was due to my anxiety, combined with the irritablility being caused by my tiredness. Never-the-less, it was evident why Narcissa and Lucius instantly declined the offer when Gregory asked if Draco and I could go with him to Itally two weeks later. 

"We've already told you, absolutely not." Narcissa calmly said. Lucius and Draco had gone to work, so it was just her and I. 

"But you're letting Draco go, why can't I go?"

"You know why you can't go." She curtly answered. 

"I'm nineteen. I'm more than an adult now. I can go if I want to."

"You know it doesn't work like that, as well." 

I sighed and slide down on the couch. She was right: I knew it didn't work like that, as unfair as it was.

"But Healer Phillips has been saying I need to start getting out more."

"That means going to the Apothicary, or going out to eat. Not going to Italy."

"Please let me go." I competly ignored her.

"And on a train, as that. You can't Floo us on a train if something happens."

"Please, Narcissa. I really want to go. You can't let Draco go and not me!"

"I've heard enough, Eleanor." She suddenly snapped. It was clear she was trying to keep calm, but a bit of annoyance showed through. I bit my lip and looked away. Why was she being so stubborn? 

I sat for a few moments in silence, as she leafed through the magazine in her lap. I was quiet at first, trying to keep my mouth shut just to spite her, but after a while I began to squirm. In the past, keeping quiet and still wasn't a problem, but I really wanted this; Really, really wanted this. I wanted it os badly that it was making it impossible to stay still. Funny: Sarah Beth's annoying, constatnly moving actions were suddenly making sense: She always wanted all those things badly. 

"Please, Narcissa." I finally burst out. She looked up from her magazine. 

"I told you no, Eleanor." She replied, "So stop asking." I frowned, and she began reading again. 

....................................................................

"Lucius, please let me go." I begged Lucius later that day. I was getting ready for bed. Tongiht they were letting me slep in their room without argument. 

"I told you, Eleanor. You just aren't ready to take that big of a trip with out us."

"But it's not fair. You're letting Draco go!" 

"I've explained this to you. We just aren't sure you are ready to take this big of a step yet."

"But I want to go!" 

"I know you do, and we're happy that you are taking an interest, but you just aren't ready."

"How do you know? You aren't me!"