Eleanor Snape- Book 5, Part 2

Bargaining

Draco and I began going steady, without really saying it. He spent a lot of his time there with me, and stayed with me over night atleast three times a week. I still couldn't bring myself to tell him I loved him. It was just too hard. But that wasn't all on me; He hadn't told me, either. Somehow, we just went without saying. Now even Narcissa or Lucius really brought it up, but instead just silently accepted it.

The relationship, although silent, really helped me get through things. Since my mind usually drifted towards Draco, I was happy most of the time. Except when he was working at the Apothicary,which I would be in a slightly saddened haze until he would visit me that afternoon, where he usually brought some kind of dinner for the two of us to share instead of eating the terrible hospital food. 

All in all; He made me happy, and happiness was something I needed. 

Even though all the happiness, there was something I still wouldn't do: Open up to Healer Phillips. I would now give him simple yes or no answer, but only if it was something unrelated to my feeling or my history. This annoyed him to no end. He pleaded for me to talk to him, but I would quietly refuse, crossing my arms and shaking my head no. I wasn't letting him tell me what was wrong with me. I didn't trust him. Non of us did, except Chase, who, for some reason, liked the man. 

Because of this, we also made Chase's Group Session experience as terrible as the Healer's. Unlike what he said the night we 'kicked him out', he didn't respond. He just took it like a man, bitting the inside of his lip and looking over at Phillips every once and a while, an annoyed look on his face. 

But other than that, I was an angel: Healer Fuchs even said so. I was so good that she wanted to let me go home, except for one factor: I wouldn't talk to Healer Phillips. They apparently had to make that breakthrough before they could let me return home. 

This angered me. I hadn't thought about going back home, but now that the thought was in my head, I couldn't get it out. If I was at home, I could be with Draco all the time. I could have good food, and good books, and I wouldn't be suprervised all the time. I could go to work with Lucius, if I wanted, or I could just stay home with Narcissa. I could wear my pajamas all day and no one would know any different. In other words: I could do what ever I wanted, with in reason. 

When Healer Fuchs told me this I threw a fit so terrible that they had to sedate me. When I woke back up, I hugged Narcissa and cried, stating that "I wanted to go home." She held me and told me she knew, and that if I would just talk to Healer Phillips I could. Like that was ever going to happen. 

"If you would just talk to him." Lucius tried to reson as he walked me to Healer Phillips office. Tears were streaking down my cheek. It was time for my therapty session, where I planned on just sitting in silence as always. 

"I don't want  to talk to him!" I said for the millionth time that week. "I don't like him! I don't trust him!" 

"There is no reason you shouldn't. He is here to help you."

"I don't like him! He doesn't understand me, and he doesn't understand any of us."

"He seems to understand Chase. Chase seems to like him just fine. Why can't the rest of you?"

"Because, he doesn't care about us. He is not Healer Green." 

"Healer Green." Lucius sighed. "Is that still what all of this is about? Healer Green left to help other people, and Healer Phillips came to help you. Healer Phillips has nothing to do with Healer Green leaving." 

"No." I stomped my foot. Lucius sighed again, a signal he was giving up. He stopped infront of the office door and knocked. It quickly opened to reveal Healer Phillips, widely smiling and holding his clipboard. I looked down at the ground.