Eleanor Snape- Book 5, Part 2

Healer Phillips

The next morning was even worse than the night. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to eat breakfast. I didn't want to do anything but lay there.

I had cried half the night. Narcissa and Lucius let me sleep in their bed the little bit I did sleep. When Narcissa tried to get me up in the morning, I refused. Lucius was already at work, and that was who I wanted moste. aFter a while, Narcissa just gave up. She did, how ever, bring my Combination for me to take. She wouldn't leave until I drank it. So, I had no choice but to down it. Then, I laid back down, and starred off into deep, depressing thought. 

I thought about Uncle Severus, and how I never showed him how much I lvoed him. How his- my- home was probably falling to shambles in Spinner's End. I thought about Scabior, and how he was probably upset to see me like this. His house was probably breaking down as well. I unconciously touched the keys to both homes that always hung around my neck. I kept reliving the memory of him fallind down int ote abyss under the Astronomy Bridge...

I thought about Vincent. I thought about how much I loved him. He lvoed me. We loved each other so much. There should have been a wedding. I should be Mrs. Eleanor Winifred Snape Crabbe, instead of the heart broken mess of the person I used to be. I told him not to use that curse until he could control it. He didn't listen to me. He brought it on himself. Yes... He did it for me. I lvoed fire and he did it for me. I killed him. I killed him....

I thought about Colin Creevey. I physically killed him. He beggged me not to. I did anyway. He had a little brother. Was his brother feeling the same way I was? Was his lose as suvere as mine?

I thought about Healer Green. I had trusted him. I had put my trust into him, and now he left me to go to, of all places, Uganda. It wasn't faair. I was suppose to trust him. I had to trust him. He told me i hadto, then he left. How could I trust anyone if I couldn't trust him?

I thought about this new Healer. Who was he? How would he react to me? To my friends at Group Session? Would we even have Group Session anymore? 

This scared me. This scared me a lot. I had already made up my mind tha I didn't like this man. I didn't know him, but I just knew I didn't. I couldn't. He would never be Healer Green, so he had no business beind there. He had no business knowing anything about me. He had no business working at St. Mungo's.

And I creid about everything I thought about.

.....................................................................................

Lucius came home at lunch, probably because Narcissa had Flooed him, saying I was beind difficult. He came and sat down on my bed. I re-ajusted myself by putting my head into his lap, crying. He guiltly stroked my hair.

"What is it, Elle? Not feeling well today?" He asked. I let out a whimper, almost resembling a yes. "What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know. I feel..." I tried to think of a word to describe my feelings, but I couldn't. So instead I just cried harder and grabbed onto Melvin. 

How did I feel? Depressed? Overwhelmed?...

All of the above?

"It's okay. I'm here now. I will be here all day. I sent Draco to watch the Apothicary, so I can stay here, okay?"

"But..."

"Yes?"

"I don't know..."

"Listen to me. Try to calm down. Have you eaten lunch yet?"

"Yeah..." I lied. He cleared his throat. 

"Are you lying to me?"

"No..."