Eleanor Snape- Book 5, Part 2

Hysterics and Racing Thoughts

After you read, why not check out the sneak peek of the new Eleanor Snape spin-off, "Snakes in the Grass" : A story following the Snatchers, and what they did while Eleanor was studying at Hogwarts! Comments and opinions would be appreicated, since I love to know what my friends think!

http://www.wattpad.com/43159542-snakes-in-the-grass-coming-soon-sneak-peek

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They had been telling the truth when they said that they weren't giving me anymore Combination until that night. When I woke up, I kept faking pain, acting like I was in to much pain to bear, but it didn't work. All it got me was an exaimination, and that made things even worse.

They told me that my uterus seemedto be almost healed, except for some swelling, so my pain should have been bearible. That meant one of two things: Something was seriously wrong and they needed to give me a more through exaimination, or, I was faking all of it.

So, I had to relucantly admit that I was faking. Oddly enough, I wasn't scolded. Instead, they asked Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco to leave the room and had me lay back down in bed. They called for Healer Phillips, and a few minutes later he came into the room. It was obvious by his frown that they had told him what had happened.

"Mrs. Malfoy, is there anything you would like to ell me?" His tone was even, but sounded a little cold. I crossed my arms and loked down.

"No..." I mumbled. I didn't want to deal with him. All I wanted was my Combinations so I could go back to sleep. If I was asleep, I wouldn't have to deal with any of this. No pain, physically or in my heart.

He sighed, coming a little closer.

"Look, I already know that you're abusing your Combinations. What I want to know is why." The Healer looked at me with intent eyes. I didn't answer him. "I'm just trying to help you, but I can't do that with out you helping me." He pressed. I began to cry. "It's okay. You aren't in trouble, and I'm not mad-" 

"Shut up!" I sniffed. "Just shut up!" I had had enough of him, and of everyone who was in the hospital, and eveyrone who was sending me pitty flowers. 

"I'm not going to shut up until you tell me what is wrong."

I stared at him in disbelief, before bursting into sobs.

"How could you even ask that?!" I wailed, working my way out of bed. The sudden change in position sent real pain through my waist, and I double over. "How?!"

"Mrs. Malfoy, I know you are upset about the recent turn of events, but-"

"But! But what?! You don't know what it's like! I...I had finally had something to love. Something I really wanted, and it got taken from me as well! You don't know what it feels like for everything you love to just die! Everything!" I collapsed to the ground. This made me eeven more upset. I covered my face, curling into a ball

"Mrs. Malfoy..." He approached me, his voice much more calm. "Lets get up. Come on." He reached out to help me up, but I smacked his hands away.

"Don't touch me! Stop!"

"Mrs. Malfoy, please." He asked again. I ignored him and kept screaming.

"Don't touch me! I hate you! I hate...I hate all of you!" I pushed him again. "Just leave me alone! Get out, and leave me alone!" I continued to wail as Healer Phillips stood back up and peeked his head out into the hallway.

"Can I have some help in here, please? She's in hysterics." 

"Noooooooooo!" I screamed. "No!"

My mind flashed back to when Uncle Severus carried me out of my old house, after it began to fall down around me. I had almost died.

The loud boom as MacAfee blew the ground out from under me. I had hit my head, and it had given me a concusion. It should have killed me.

The Darkness I saw as I fired the Killing Curse at myself. Again, I should have died.

I should be dead. Like Wyatt and Scabior and Vincent and Uncle Severus and Hayse and Dunn and probably the rest of the Snatchers as Well and Collin Creevey and Fred Weasley and Alabaster Moodey and Cedric Diggory and Bellatrix and Lord Volde-Voldem- Lord Voldemort and my father. My father. My mother. And my baby. My beautiful daughter. Why had everyone been so lucky to get away from here? Why couldn't I? Why? Why? Why!? 

I could fix it. I could be dead like the rest of them. I could make it happen myself finally. I could I-

"Mrs. Malfoy, come on." I was suddenly hoised up. I did't know who had lifted me off the ground, ut I didn't care. I didn't want anyone touching me. 

"Let go of me!" I started to squirm and beat them where ever I could get my hands on them. "Let go now! NOW!" 

"I can't hold her much longer!"

"Let us in!" Narcissa could be heard from outside the door. 

"You can see her in a bit." 

"We are her parents! We want to see her!"

"She's unstable!"

"But-"

"Narcissa, please. HE said we'll see her in a minute. "

The sound of feet rushing down the hallway, fading away as if going away from the room.

"Draco!" 

Another pair of feet sprinting away.

"Let me in!" 

"Let go of me!" I screamed some more. My thoughts kept racing through my head. Forgien thoughts that scared me, but also comforted me in a strange way. "Shut up! No! Stooooop!"

"Can someone tranquilize her, please?"

"We need to restrain her." 

"Not until she's out!" 

"Let gooooooooooooo!" I gasped as I felt a prick in my neck. "What was that? Let go! Let me go! Please!...Please.... please...." I began to mumble. I went limp, but my mind still worked a million miles per minute. 

End it. I can end it. I can end it all myself. I don't have to be here. I don't have to deal with it. I can sleep forever with a bit more combination. Or a knife. Or a wand. A real wand, not my wand. A want with out restrictions. I can steal Draco's. That would work. Or I can... I can jump out a window again. Or I can steal some potion from the apothicary or even from the hospital. It would be easier to go while asleep... I can end it all.... I can...It would be... easy....

After a minute or so my thoughts stopped as well.