Karmagisa: Our Fate Upon The Crown

15 | I Am You, You Are Me

<Karma>
Later on that night, I happened to wake up first before Nagisa. The moon outside the palace was glowing radiantly in the night sky, almost shimmering to the naked eye.
I laid on my stomach, leaning against my arm, as I watched Nagisa. I became to wonder why he broke down early, it really discouraged me because I could be the reason why he is suffering.

He slept right after and I knew that trembling body of his wasn't right. His mind had been occupied all this time and he didn't speak of anything.

I pulled the covers over so that his bare shoulders wouldn't be exposed to the cold breeze, where the window was slightly opened.
Essentially, the warmth between us two kept us from getting cold and I was comfortable, entirely fond how close we've become.
But I wish he would acknowledge himself more. I wish he could ignore that voice in his head, that one that reminds him of his fate.
But naturally, that is what I want as well.

I slipped on my pants and decided to sit in one of the two cushioned chairs, beside the balcony doors. Get some fresh air. I pulled one side of the curtains back and the moonlight pierced through. But looking out and beyond, was the kingdom itself. Breathtaking and overwhelming. To think that one day Nagisa and I will rule it.

"Quite stunning don't you think?"

Right before my eyes, the Original King sat in the chair across from me. Reflecting the position I sat in, where I had my elbow bent on one the arm of the chair, and with one leg over. He continued to reveal himself in the younger version of himself.

"What brings you here at this hour?" I spoke.

"My business you speak of? Odd question, but I'll answer even though it's such a simple thing." He stared out into the view of the kingdom. "I don't think I'll ever see my treasure again."

He automatically caught my attention and I had to ask what of it, that made him so sure that it would be his last.

"How do you mean?"

"Don't get me wrong, this isn't necessarily my last, however I feel my soul that is bound here, slowly fading. And that has started ever since you two have stepped into this palace.

I glanced back at Nagisa and he followed the gaze.
"I don't find it surprising really, the situation that you two are in. Of course it's rather intriguing from a different perspective. I can tell and I am warning you now, that you must be aware of the future. I cannot promise your safety, for I cannot see the future for you two.

"Isn't it all the same in the end?" I leaned forward, giving him all my attention. "Whether you can or can't control it, we'll be fine. I'll protect Nagisa, and I am aware, that he'll do the same for me." I boldly said.

"Karma, there is only so much Nagisa and you can do. Just because you're King, doesn't mean that you're god." He pointed out with a caustic expression, though it lightened right after.

"I understand that we are human." I agreed, "but I won't let that ruin me. I won't let it stop me from doing what I can and can't do."

"Well spoken." The Original King stood up and inched closer to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. "I'm rather glad that my possible last, resides within you." His words displayed relief and I stopped him before I knew he would go.

"What shall I call you? A name?" I questioned.

"A name?" He raises a brow with confusion.

"There should be mutual respect when we speak in the future. Go on, the name given to you at birth." I continued.

"I've only given my name once to one person in my life. The others have called me by the name which was used to protect me. And then there is King." He explained.

"And who is that person you've given your real name to? If I may ask." I pestered. But it seemed rather obvious to even ask.

He chuckled to himself and raised his arm, pointing at Nagisa.

"My lovely Queen of course! My wife who I spent the rest of my life with. And she had given me her name is well."

I get it now. You've kept it secret, because your names are important to you, they define you. Body and soul. And it has also created a kingdom far from simple hands.

"I can understand why you wouldn't say it so freely." I nodded my head and let it go at that.

"You are also the first of my reincarnations who've asked for it. So be it, I'll give it to you because it means you've accepted me."

I was surprised by how willing he was to state it. At least now it won't be awkward when I mention him, or even think of him.

"My name is King Roka, but if you're going to address me, it's just Roka." He spoke.

"A name that suits you well." I commented.

"You as well." Roka smiled and then disappeared into the night. But that smile was forced.

Now it was just me and Nagisa again. However, Roka's spirit resides within me, so technically it had been just us this entire time.
Now I wonder about the name of the Original Queen. Of course Roka couldn't give me hers, it's up to Nagisa to ask of it. But I think it will be awhile until then. Nagisa is struggling to accept his existence, thus he cannot bear to take hold of that name.

I took a long sigh and hung my head back, now staring at the ceiling. Roka was kind enough to speak to me like this, more than he had before. I hope that the Original Queen will speak to Nagisa as well. Give him assurance, confidence and my selfishness of wanting him to allow himself to love how he is, even if it means denying me.