Karmagisa: Our Fate Upon The Crown

29 | Loveless Silence

<Nagisa>
The morning that I talked to Mamoru, he's been locked in Mother's room ever since. They are probably discussing about the wedding tomorrow, and other plans.

It was around 1:30pm when the servants began to prepare for the ceremony itself, at least the side work like grooming the busy garden, planning the menu, and laying out how the whole arrangement would be like. The types of flowers, roses, gardenias, buttercups and all sorts. The vibrant colors that perk and make a welcoming wedding.

I was lonely once more, despite my father right beside me. He's too busy staring at the layout of the chairs and tables, that he doesn't have the time to look my way.

"Father." I said.

He didn't answer.

"Father." I said a littler louder and shook his arm.

"Huh-oh, sorry kiddo." He diverted his gaze from the tan sheets of paper and lowered his arms. "Yes?"

Father remained standing to my side, without facing me to talk. His body language made it difficult for me to approach this, at the same level.

"As a father like yourself, you wish for Mamoru's happiness I presume?" I asked.

"Why of course. He's my boy after all." Father chuckled. "Why ask of it?"

While it came to be like this, I just had to keep digging deeper, hopefully saving Mamoru from this.

"And what if the marriage didn't make him happy? For instance that all along, he detests this arrangement." I questioned.

"Oh don't be silly. Mamoru agreed to it all, the consent is there." Father explained.

"You surely don't think that with his dejecting spirits that he would actually be in tuned with the plan?"

Father stared at me with a odd expression.

"What are you saying exactly. Do you not approve of this marriage?" He finally faced his body towards me, with full body language.

Technically Mamoru is lying through his teeth, but at the same time, I don't approve of it either. For his sake.

"And what would you do if I didn't Father." I looked at him directly.

"Disappointment is all that I can think of. Of course you're my son, and the next King, but surely I'll hold a grudge." He confessed, "you plan on overturning this marriage. The one that your mother and I set up for Mamoru for quite some time now. All this time and the day before the ceremony...you disapprove it? I don't know what to say to that. What to do..."

I sighed and nodded my head.

"Mamoru told me himself that he already has a beauty. One that he loves and cherish. But lost in the sea of selfishness. That selfishness is because of you guys, especially Mother." I explained.

Father's mouth dropped in shock. The fact that he never knew really got to me. Mamoru doesn't trust either of them at all. No faith, that is what the family is. Unfaithful.

"You wish for Mamoru's happiness. But you took away his voice, his freedoms, his everything. But don't take away his only means of sanity from it. His ability to love. If you do Mamoru's is no longer the brother and son that we both know and hold dearly.

Father rubbed the bridge between his eyes and sighed loudly. The reddening of his cheeks, the sweat slowly trickling down.

"Your mother will override it regardless. She has no sympathy." Father explained. "Tomorrow is the wedding, there is nothing I can do. If I had known Mamoru's situation, then I wouldn't have- I'm terrible aren't I?" Father grew grayer in despondency. His overwhelmed thoughts, bursting through.

"I think there's only one thing we can do for him." I patted his shoulder, "will you help me father? Will you be able to let him go?" I asked.

"It will only compensate, won't it? I'd hate to lose him like this." Father nodded his head discouraged.

"I'm guessing you already have an idea, contacting his woman?" Father raised a brow.

"Not really but, it's coming along. I would have to meet with her today. I will find some information from his room, because he won't tell me himself." I went on. "But before I leave Father." I slightly smiled in many thanks. "The fact that you aren't beastly and strict like Mother, gives me hope. It gives Mamoru hope too. Thank you."

"I would do anything for my sons. Whether it's things like this. I've done wrong as a father, for when my own children give me advice, steer me on the right path of my blindness. Mamoru deserves more, his life should be his for his bidding. And I deprived him of it." Father patted my head. "I'll follow through with whatever plans you have."

Father warmly smiled at me and kept rubbing my head. His purity so simple, compared to the devil of a mother.

"You've grown some. Mature, manlier since you've stepped into the palace. You may not see it, but I'm proud of what kind of man you're now." Father complimented greatly and I could see him biting his lower lip, keeping himself from showing his soft side.

"A lot of things have happened since..." I agreed. The good and the bad.

"How has the King been treating you?" He brought up. "Akabane, Karma." He added.

"Swell I guess. He's much more of the man you see in me. However, I must thank him for being my support to survive through the wrath's of responsibility, as the next Crown." I explained.

Father seemed pleased and nodded along.

"I'm glad you're getting along. You may have not known, but the Akabane had sent a letter to us not too long ago. A friendly dinner amongst the families, in recognition of this unity between us."

"Karma himself had never spoken of it." I crossed my arms, any day in particular?" Has he known all this time and never bothered to tell me? Some nerve!

"Just a thought to say the most of it. Not exactly a definite day of the week nor month, but the invite is out there." Father went on.

"Well, we can't refuse."

"Depends on your mothers mood. But I doubt she'll ignore such invite." Father chuckled freely.

I'm very assured by now that even when I had left, Father is still able to live contently. Just like Mamoru, he has lost the puff in his cheeks and his hair growing thinner and short.

"You know Father, you don't have to endure Mother's demonizing personality until death do part. You're happiness matters too." I shifted the mood along into something more of a sensitive topic.

Father has always wanted to free himself. Luckily I was able to with this so-called curse, bestowed upon my life, printed on my chest.
Mamoru is suffering from it.

Father sighed and scratched his head, he turned his body and stared at the grand painting on the wall beside us. The Original Queen sitting with a bouquet of creamy pink camellias in her hand with King Roka beside her, they don't make eye contact.

"Nagisa." He said my name carefully. "There are those who are forced to love, and those who love freely."

"And wouldn't it be best-"

Father shook his head before I could finish.

"I asked for her hand when I was younger. Not because I was forced to, but because I cherished her dearly. And despite her aloofness, insincerity, brute, she is still the woman who I entrusted my life too." He explained.

No matter what I say now, nothing will get through to him when it comes to Mother. I cannot simply hate her, as she had carried me in the womb, but I cannot love her.

But I'm amazed myself to witness the grappling love father had for someone like mother. Like a dagger forced upon his own hands, threatening along his own neck. He holds it carefully, but unsteadily.