Karmagisa: Our Fate Upon The Crown

27 | Cold Sheets

<Nagisa>
When I woke up, I felt the iciness of the room chilling my skin. My finger tips were frosty and not even my blanket could warm me.
I stared over at the window and it also was foggy from the cold morning, some ice prickling around the corners.

"Good morning."

"W-what?!" Someone's voice spooked me off my bed and I landed on my rear. I looked up and saw Mamoru winking at me, with a short wave.

"How long ?" I questioned, getting back on the bed.

"Just a few minutes ago. I wanted to see you cute sleeping face." Mamoru teased me again, sitting on the bed.

But I could tell from his expression that he was exhausted. Mentally and possibly physically. All this time I haven't noticed until now. He lost weight the last time I saw him. His face a little thinner than before, as you can see his jawline more. His slender hand that rested on the bed.

"The wedding is tomorrow." I spoke, reminding him. He paused for awhile and nodded his head depressingly.

"It is isn't it?" Mamoru stood back up and looked out the window. "There's nothing I can do now." He added.

What do you mean by that?
"You're just going to marry a woman you've never met?" I asked.

"Isn't that what you did?" Mamoru's words almost felt like a sting. Even if I had experienced this already...does really intend to follow through?

"I've met her before and she's a nice lady. Cute, reserved, and elegant." He described.

"But is it what you want?" I pestered again.

Mamoru glared at me, lifting his hand, and pointed his index finger at me.

"I don't need your sympathy, pity. None of it. Look at you Nagisa. You were forced to the life in chains of this reincarnation curse. You're doing just fine aren't you?" Mamoru's voice became caustic, as he was turning a little red from his anger.

"Don't I have to endure it as well?" He hid his expression and initially became more quiet. "Neither of us rule our own fates. None of us. We're all controlled by the strings of life."

"I'm controlled by it. You're just a puppet of Mother." I explained.

I could tell by Mamoru's expression that he gave up. He faced his back towards me and started walking out.

"I am aren't I?" Those were his last words before he exited the room, closing the door behind him.

The room felt lonelier as it did before Mamoru entered. Spaceless, quiet, I didn't fancy it at all. I thought over to myself, that maybe I was too harsh on him. Maybe his mind was set from the beginning, and he was ready all this time for this wedding.
But then came along me who brought him back over to the side of reason.
Maybe that's why mother didn't want me to come back home. She knew I would sway the decision that was already forced upon him.

"The more you blame yourself, the more you'll fall deeper into guilt."

I lifted my head and saw Queen Yua sitting on the edge of the bed, where Mamoru previously sat. Her hair was loosely hanging, silky black as before.

"What brings you here, so early in the morning?" I reached out my hand and she grabbed it gently.

"Your thoughts are in troubled waters. I came to soothe it." She said kindly.

"There is no need." I sighed, "but thank you Queen Yua. How is King Roka?" I brought up.

She slowly retreated her hands back to her lap and closed her eyes.

"While I am unable to communicate with him, I know that he's been comforting the King since you're not at the palace." Queen Yua explained, "But I must warn you." She suddenly said.

"What is it?" I inched in.

"If you let yourself get involved with your brother's affairs you'll regret it. Love is a complex item. In due time, the pieces will fall together. So there is no need to rush your brother." She spoke.

I nodded my head, even if part of me still didn't like that idea.

"You said it yourself Queen Yua. Love is a complex item. And Mamoru's happiness is important. I believe that love, should come from the heart."

"I'm sorry." Queen Yua looked disturbed by my reply, as if she wasn't apologizing for making change my mind about Mamoru's situation. But for me and my fate.

"Don't apologize because if you do, it means that I was right this whole time." I looked down at my hands, the ones that decided to hold Karma's life. "If you apologize, then this love doesn't exist. Please, I beg of you, Queen Yua."

I closed my eyes, wanting this feeling to disappear. I am much weaker without Karma's presence. But my reliance of him will surely break me.
I steadily opened my eyes again to see that Queen Yua had vanished, however there were pink camellias on the spot where she sat.

I picked one up from my hand and softly pulled a petal off. In seconds the whole flower wilted and turned into pink dust and blew away from my hand.

I plopped back and laid on the cool sheets and stared at the ceiling. I raised my hand in the air kept my eyes on my hand, reaching for something that wasn't there.

I eventually rolled to my side and thought about Karma. Even when it had only been a day, I miss him. I wonder what he's doing right now...
Is he with Karasuma? His study? With Irina?

Ugh, I have to get out of bed soon. I sat straight up and suddenly noticed the bed was wet. I looked down and saw a pool of blood underneath me. The thickening red liquid that stained my clothes and hand.

I froze automatically only to realize that I was only imaging thing, because when I blinked it disappeared.

I swallowed back and sighed in relief.
I think I should get back to the castle as soon as possible. If worst comes to worst, I would be laying in my own river of blood sooner or later