Karmagisa: Our Fate Upon The Crown

52 | Wilting Camellias

<Nagisa>
Hours pass along, and the days drift by silently. I have lost count of how many days I've been here. I would stay awake for as long as I could, then I would get by tired and fall asleep. I think most occasions, I have fainted from the lack of food in my system.

These torches flicker and dance in the darkness. The red hue with burning orange keeps me in a mesmerizing state. Oh how it would feel to touch it. I am mentally fatigued, physically fatigued, I wonder if my body remembers what true, physical pain feels like. When all this time, I've been enduring the mental suffering and emotional outbreaks.

Queen Yua hasn't spoken to me today. Sometimes she would sit beside me and not say anything at all. She would sit in the same position, almost mimicking my every move.

But it's not like I moved very much in the first place. Though, I liked it when she softly started to hum a tune that I remembered from my childhood.
I don't think my mother hummed it to me, nor anyone in my family particularly.

Maybe when I was younger, still a tiny little being, I must of been able to see her. Even if I can't recall my earlier years, I know that it's the same soothing voice that caressed my lonely heart.

"Seems though you're awake."

I was spooked by the voice of the current King. He had his hands resting behind on his back, while there was a few knights by his side watching me.

"It does seem that way."

Even talking took more energy out of me then I thought it would. The King didn't look into my eyes, as if he knew the mistakes he was making. But didn't decide to change his thoughts because everything has already been confirmed and decided.

"At least put my mind to ease Nagisa Shiota. Maybe I can lessen your punishment. If you tell me the truth, I won't send you to the execution site."

"You don't get it do you?" I snickered unconsciously.

My ribs would ache a little if I tried to laugh, but the whole situation became a laughable joke.

"Excuse me?" He questioned, coming closer to the bars. "You think this is a laughing matter?"

"Oh but it is you see everyone is a fool. Do you really think that such a simple person like me, regardless of the Original Queen's soul festering within me, could pull such a stunt?"

He finally made eye contact with me.

"I told you before, I didn't do it. Now you're saying you'll lessen the punishments if I tell you a lie? Where's the pride? My honor?" I spoke.

"Watch yourself. I don't know what you're trying to swindle out of young man, but it's sickening." He turned around and gestured his hand, "I gave you a chance, now you're done for Nagisa Shiota."

The guards left along with him and headed back upstairs. I heard the dungeon doors slamming shut and locking.

My exhaustion got the best of me and I laid down. Though when I did, I felt a soft cushion on the back of my head.
I glanced up to see Queen Yua with her depressed expression again. She gave me her lap to use to rest and this time she was biting her lip with a little blood rolling down.

I reached out and touched her face and essentially smeared the blood off her lip.

"You heard him right? We're all suffering from this curse. Roka's soul may reside within him, you're beloved husband, partner, but that doesn't change who the King can actually become."

Queen Yua started to quietly weep above me while she caressed my hair. Even her touch had degraded and it was difficult for me to actually see her now. It was a blinding blur for me and instead I saw a shattering gleam that looked too devastating for me.

Is this the light you see before death? And if so, what should I do in this moment? I couldn't see Yua anymore but she touched my hand and grabbed ahold of it dearly.
The last image in my head was Karma. He was smiling delicately and childishly, holding his hand out. And the only thing I could say before my mind started to fade was,
"I don't care what becomes of me. Save me."

And silently, I heard an echoing voice, singing me to sleep. A sleep that I don't think I'll ever wake from.
••••••••
<Karma>
While I was reading letters sent by messenger birds from Kaede, my back began to crawl uncontrollably. Then it followed with a sharp migraine that put me out of thought.

"My King, are you alright?" Karasuma who was posted at the door came to me in concern.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I don't know what just happened, but I think I'm alright now." I assured.

"Don't overwork yourself. Let's just rely on Kayano for now to get the information we need. You've read her progress, I think you can take a rest for now."

I shook my head.

"I can't afford to rest when Nagisa is waiting for me. For all I know, he must hate me for not going to him, freeing him from the hearts of this curse." I hung my head from the truth Nagisa tried to use as an excuse to hide his feelings when we reunited.

I can't believe I'm thinking this, but is this reincarnation actually a gift of sorts from the gods? Is it a good thing? Or is it a curse that I've been ignoring because I've been conceited all this time?

"My King..."

I honestly can't accept myself right now. The more I think about it, the more I think that this special bond between Nagisa and I are a lie.
My tears had begun to slap against the paper on the table, puddling and smearing the ink.

So this is how Nagisa felt all this time? It's an unimaginable torment that slashes me away. I've been imposing an abundance of expectations on him, and I've never cared for what he felt about the matter.
I didn't treat Nagisa fairly with care, nor did I  properly embrace what he thought.

So all this time, I've been following a path so many took before, forcing Nagisa to come along? I never did look back to see how he was doing. Instead he just followed, trusting me every step of the way.

I burst out of my seat and wiped my pitiful cries away.

"Karasuma, get your things." I said.

"Can you tell me why? He clipped the belt that carried his sword around his waist."

I grabbed my sword that was laying on the desk,  where I was sitting and held it firmly.

"I'm going to confront the King and make him free Nagisa. I don't care what happens to me in the process, but let me rely on you as well."

Karasuma didn't have to think it over. He knelt down on a knee and bowed his head. I think it's been awhile since his eyes glistened with passion. Like he trusted me 100% and doesn't even need to question it.

"Your wish is my command."