"I love you god knows I do but I can't do this. I can't. I put up with the phone calls, the text messages, social media, random chicks, not coming home, and everything else. Let alone a baby you conceived by some random chick. I'd be a fool to marry...
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Chapter 26: Panic Attack April
April had woken up bright and early the next morning, rolled a thick morning blunt, and tried to keep a smile on her face but who was she fooling the day was finally here and she was a nervous wreck. She made breakfast and talked with her sisters but she was still low key trying to get it together but it didn't work. She felt like she could crack at any moment. She felt so fragile. April wanted to be alone to get her mind right so the girls granted her wish and gave her some space even though they didn't want to. Make no mistake if she called them they'd drop whatever they were doing and come to her rescue. April had hoped and prayed that the high she had flew to LA on would survive longer than it did because she was finally and officially with Dave and happy but the feeling that the high gave her didn't last long at all. Trey had managed to blow it down a few notches and this morning when she woke up it was officially gone. There wasn't even the slightest hint of a buzz left.
She was still happy trust she was and she couldn't wait to go back home and jump into her man's arms but at the moment she had to deal with something much more important. Today was the day she let the man she once loved know exactly how she felt and still feels to this very day. Not only that but she had to drop one hell of a bomb on him and didn't know how Chris would react but she needed to tell him. She had been holding it in for far too long and suffering by herself. Chris needed to know everything and she wanted to tell him everything no matter the consequence. It wasn't anything that she hid from him but it was something he just didn't give a fuck about but was still very much important nonetheless, especially to her. Maybe after all these years it would finally be important to him as well.
April was starting to feel like she couldn't go through with it even though she knew she needed to, she had to. She felt claustrophobic in her own body like she was internally suffocating. Although she had never experienced one April felt like she was going to have a panic attack. She clutched her chest as her heart beat rapidly and dropped to the floor as tears now rimmed her eyelids as she tightly clutched her phone in her other hand. If she had the strength it would've been shattered into a million pieces with the way she was clutching it. Unlocking her phone she called the one person whose voice she wanted to hear at the moment, the voice that would immediately put her and her heart at ease. 3 rings in Dave answered the phone sleepily wiping his hand sluggishly over his face. She knew she had woken him up but she needed him right now.
"Ma what's wrong" Dave asked damn near about to have a panic attack himself as he saw the state April was in. "Baby talk to me" he said as April just looked at him with tears trickling down her face. "Baby I need you to calm down and breathe. Yes this is an important day for you but remember you already know Chris and you have nothing to worry bout. The feelings that you're feeling right now you need to see and talk to him so you can get rid of those feelings so you can let it go...let it all go. At the end of the day it's just Chris someone who use to be your friend. Think of it as having a talk with an old friend" Dave spoke to her softly yet sternly as April kept her eyes on him letting her tears continue to fall while she tried to soak in what he was saying.
