"I love you god knows I do but I can't do this. I can't. I put up with the phone calls, the text messages, social media, random chicks, not coming home, and everything else. Let alone a baby you conceived by some random chick. I'd be a fool to marry...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Chapter 39: Half On A Baby April
Now tell me what the deal is Are you ready to bump It's gonna take a lifetime To give you all of this love So baby, open up And get ready to receive A miracle of love Gettin' down wit me Like a baseball field Wanna hit a home run Me and you get together babe And raise a little one [Half On A Baby: R Kelly]
It was the second week of the new year and April was back at work taking a little break to just breathe. She had a lot on her mind and was trying to get right. The week before she had enjoyed daddy and daughter day as well as a day shared with both of her parents. Since Alaina had left she found herself spending more time with their parents and she didn't mind the extra loving. It was something she needed at the moment.
Searching for a puppy was unsuccessful. No matter where her and her father went and how many cute faces she saw not one puppy spoke to her heart so the search was still on whenever she had the time to look again. April had even managed to talk to her therapist about how she currently felt so that was a plus. The remainder of her free week April did something that she promised she wouldn't do since she was supposed to be chilling. She didn't want to revert back into the old April who drowned all her sorrows and losses into working so long to where she'd be the first to arrive and last one to leave her office. Yet for her work seemed to be a coping mechanism and the only thing that she could do that could occupy her mind the way she needed because as of right now she needed the distraction. April really didn't want anyone to know how she felt. All she needed them to know was that she was ok. She didn't want to be pitied or feel like she was being a burden on anyone especially not over another nigga.
Any, who it was a brand new week and she was on the top floor of her building in her office starring out of the huge window watching the snow fall. Blame it on global warming but New Jersey's winters just weren't the same anymore. She could remember growing up as a child and the snow would cover her from head to toe...literally because she was so short. Now it seemed like they only got maybe two or three bad snow days and the rest of the winter was just cold and blah. Maybe it was because she had no one to share it with. It wasn't magical or the least bit whimsical. It was plain ole cold. It was officially cuffin season and everybody in her circle was cuffin but her. Cuffin season her ass please! Cuffin season for her was non-existing. Her cuffin season consisted of her, her bed, a blanket, hot chocolate, a fat ass blunt, a fruity drink, and whatever she had recorded on her DVR. But since she was playing it safe she hadn't even lifted a blunt or a drink. They had both been put on the back burner.
Sitting in her mid-back white leather executive swivel office chair with rose gold frame and arms she leaned back into the chair and slowly sipped on her hot cocoa with three jumbo marshmallows and whipped cream hoping it warmed her body up even though she had the heat on in her office. It wasn't that she felt cold but she felt cold inside. She was low key going through the motions and trying her best to push forward but felt like she couldn't take much more. To be a workaholic she didn't even feel like being at work. Sure she had a second on command if needed but she was a billionaire for a reason. Although she could afford it but couldn't afford to not work she still chose to because that's how she became a successful billionaire. April did her shit herself and never leaned on anyone to do her job the way she did it or for her. All she wanted to do was go somewhere where the sun was bright and inviting. The weather was hot enough to give her a tan. You know add some more gold to her 24k gold melanin and have her looking extra chocolatey. She wanted to walk around in sand that felt like cake batter before you mixed in the wet ingredients where it's so fine that it feels like heaven against her bare soles and in between her toes. She wanted the ocean view where the water had that ombre effect as you looked at it from afar where the water went from the lightest shade of blue to the darkest shade of blue. She wanted to lie in the warm sand shielding her eyes as she sipped on a Bob Marley or a Miami Vice. April knew what she needed and what she desperately needed was a vacation. No friends, no family...just her. Her therapist even recommended it a few times. Hmm a vacation didn't sound bad at all.
