you're depressed (requested)

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Jennie looked back at the clock on the wall and found that another ten minutes have gone by and you still haven't made your way downstairs. She took the stairs one by one and walked down the hall till she was standing in the doorway of your shared bedroom.

You were still laying in bed, still in your sweats with your hair still messy and your eyes dull. They lost that sparkle long ago and though she misses it, she understands why.

This isn't the first time you've felt so depressed you struggle to leave the bed and do things on your own. She's been by your side through it before and she's promised you now that she's still not going anywhere, even when your brain tries to convince you otherwise.

She walked to the bed and slid under the blankets beside you. She moved closer to you and set her forehead on your back before peppering kisses to your shoulder.

"Not feeling up to doing anything tonight?"

You shook your head wordlessly and prepared yourself for the possible disappointment that you feared one day would follow. But, like the amazing girl she is, Jennie just kissed your cheek and told you that it was okay.

"You're not mad?" You mumbled.

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because this isn't the first time I've backed out on you lately." You explained while trying to find the energy to talk a little louder than your quiet mumble, but you were drained.

You haven't left the bed much lately, except to use the bathroom and brush your teeth and shower, but you only do that with Jennie because you hardly have the energy to do it on your own.

"That's not your fault, y/n. I'm never gonna get mad at you just because you're struggling."

She began to run her fingers along your back and you felt your eyes closing from the soft feeling. She kissed your neck and said, "do you need some space? You know if you need it, I'll understand."

"No." You replied. "Stay with me."

"I'm right here." She said as she put her arm around you to hold you close.

A moment of silence went by, consisting of only your soft breaths and hers and the feeling of her fingers running along your back. But she broke it, desperately needing you to know what was running through her own head.

"I know you're not feeling like yourself right now. That you have no energy, no motivation. I know you don't want to talk about and I understand and accept that. But I want you to remember, that if the day comes where that changes and you need to talk about it, I'll be right here to listen. I'm never going to judge you for the way you feel."

You found the energy to turn into her arms and lay your head on her chest. She held you tight, keeping you warm, and making you feel safe.

"I love you right now the same I always have. You and your secrets and your deepest, darkest fears are always safe with me. I'll hold you and I'll never let you go."

Even though you struggled to show and express it at times, you were really thankful to have her there with you.

"I feel like a prisoner of my own mind sometimes." You mumbled. "But having you with me makes me feel okay. Even when I feel like I can't trust my mind or myself, I trust you and I feel safe with you."

She kissed your head and rubbed your back. She didn't say a word, simply showed you that she loved you instead.

"I know you haven't felt up to taking a shower in the last couple of days, so I have an idea. How does a bath sound? You and me together."

"Okay."

She smiled to herself. It was only a one-word response, but it still made her feel good that you were okay with doing these things with her.

"Are you hungry? I can make you some food, get you a snack."

"Maybe later. Can you just keep holding me for right now?"

"I won't let go." She promised and held you a little tighter, a little more securely in her embrace.

She knew she couldn't fix you, she knows it's just not possible. But if these things help to distract you, to make you feel even a little better even if only for a little while, she'll happily do them whenever you need her to.

Because she loves and supports you endlessly and nothing would ever change that.

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