the little stories

remedy - jjk

tw / anxiety, panic attacks

you quietly get out of bed. you felt your chest growing tighter with every moment that passed. you held in your sobs. you didn't want to wake him. you hated waking him. you grab his sweatshirt from the floor and pull it on. you walk out the room and downstairs. you open the balcony door and step out. you grip the railing and slowly crouch down.

they came whenever they wanted to. no warning. it was hard to handle. constant pain. constant struggle. they got worse as time went on. you only knew that outside helped. breathing in fresh air was a remedy.

he sits up in bed, looking around. he feels around for his sweatshirt on the floor. he stands up. he walks downstairs. he finds you on the balcony. his face falls.

you let your head fall. you tighten your grip on the railing. you cry harder. you hear the sliding door open. you feel his arms around your waist. you let go of the railing and fall back into him.

"hey hey," he whispers. he moves his arms around you. he grabs your arms. "look at me."

you look at him. you see tears in his eyes. you drop your head. he holds your cheeks. "baby look at me."

you look up again. he takes deep breaths with you. you take shaky ones. tears fall down his face. he ignores them. he focuses on you.

you drop your shoulders. he lets you fall into his chest. he picks you up and carries you inside. he sits on the couch. he holds you close. you breathe heavily.

he closes his eyes. tears kept falling. he didn't move. he kept his lips on your head. he kept his arms around your body. he only wanted you to feel better.

you stay with him like that for a long time. you eventually sit up. you wipe your eyes. he rests his hand on your back. you look at him. you wipe his eyes. he smiles softly.

"why didn't you wake me?" he asked. his voice cracks in the middle of his sentence.

you tell him you didn't like waking him up in the middle of the night. you didn't want him to be tired because of you.

he swallows hard and shakes his head. "no," his voice is shaky.

he looks down. you see tears hit his hands. you hug him. he cries softly into your shoulder. you keep your cheek on his head. you rub his back.

he pulls back, wiping his eyes. "your well being means more to me than waking up early for work."

he clears his throat. he continues. "it kills me to see you go through this that your own. i want to help you."

you brush your hand through his hair. he wipes his eyes. "please let me in."

you pull him into a hug. he holds you close.

he was your remedy.