The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

Times Running Out

When I came to, my eyelids were crusty and sticky, and my head was thudding in pain. I tried to push myself up off the ground, but my arms gave under me and I collapsed back down. It was getting worse. I could hardly to move.

If I didn't get out soon, I don't think I'd be able to leave at all. I was losing all my energy, all my strength, all my will. I would die down here....

I tried again to get up, but once again my arms gave way under me. I lay there in fear, hundreds of possible fates in my future. It looked so bleak......

Had He hurt Jacky? Was Ronnie alive? Was I ever gonna get out if this place? Would I ever see anyone else again?

These questions plagued me, getting louder and louder as time passed down here. My time was running out, and the desperation was starting to overflow my mind.

I felt the dread filling me up, pushing away any hope. I don't know if I was gonna make it.....

My dark thoughts were interrupted by His footsteps. I watched Him descend into the pit, and I felt a feeling that I had been trying to push away ever since I had first learned who He really was. It had intensified ever since I had been out down here.

I had an underlying wish to push Him too far, to make Him so mad that He killed me. It would be so easy, and all the suffering, all the pain, it would finally be over. I could watch over Ronnie and the others. I could finally be free........

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. I nearly wanted to thank Him, because I wouldn't have been able to get up otherwise.

He sneered at me and handed me a stack of papers. I looked down at them, confused. Was it a news article? An excerpt explaining what had happened to Ronnie?

No. It was pictures.

Pictures of Ronnie cut up and bruised in the street. Pictures of Ronnie in the hospital. A picture of Ronnie hooked up to a machine. Pictures of a flat-lined machine. My breath stopped, my heart freezing up. I threw the pictures everywhere, looking desperately through them.

There was a picture of doctors with their hands on Jacky's shoulders, and Jacky was crying, and I started to sob.

R-Ronnie was dead. When these pictures were taken, He had been in the hospital. And he had been dead. He had fucking been to the hospital and seen Ronnie!

I couldn't breath, my heart was beating erratically, with random lapses in between beats.

Then, I saw another picture. A picture that wasn't of Ronnie.

It was Jacky. He looked unconscious, his nose had a slash on it, and his eye was black and swollen.

He-He had gotten to Jacky...

I screamed, and I dropped the pictures. I looked over at Him. I was terrified, mortified, and fucking angry. Who did He think He was? He can hurt me all He wants, but He can't just fucking hurt Falling In Reverse!

I ran-or more like stumbled-over to Him, screaming and mumbling. I couldn't even understand what I was saying, all I knew was that I was mad, and it was fueling me and letting me move. I ignored the pain, and I started hitting Him, screaming and punching.

I knew it wouldn't do much, but I had to show Him that I had still had a fight, that I would protect my friends.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed, managing to hit Him in the face. His head jerked back, and when He brought it back, blood was dribbling out of His nose. Yes! I had done some damage!

He brought His hand up to His nose and rubbed the blood, looking at it in surprise. Then He looked up at me, and He wrapped His hands around my throat, lifting me above Him. I struggled, gripping His hands and shaking, flailing my legs around.

He shook me, tightening His grip, and I opened my mouth, trying to gulp in breaths of air that would never reach my lungs. I was a gaping fish out of water, suffocating.

My legs jerked around, trying to find a grip, a foothold, anything to keep me up so I wasn't hanging in suspension.

He grinned at my face, laughing. "You think you can do anything to me? You think you have any control over me? I might kill Jacky just for that" He said, and I struggled even more, kicking my legs at Him, digging my bare feet into His skin.

He squeezed harder, compressing my neck tighter. I opened my mouth to breath in, but nothing came in. I just stayed there gaping, my eyes wide, my legs flailing.

Then, I blacked out, just barely feeling Him drop me and pounding onto the ground before it all fell away.