The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

READ THE SEPARATE BOOK

****I forgot that you guys still don't know who He is. Oops. But not for long ;) ****

We sat down at a table and Echo told Andy what had happened and why it had taken her so long to come back and why she hadn't gotten him anything.

The whole time I was burrowing myself into Ronnie's side and trying not to let myself think of the voice's aggressive whispers.

You know you want it.

Heroin.

Go on, remember how good it felt?

No, stop! It wasn't good, it nearly destroyed me.

Oh come on, don't go and blame it on the heroin, it was your fault. Heroin helped. Always helped. Heroin is so nice, so caring, so wonderful. Always helping you when you fuck up.

No! Stop, leave me alone! You don't know what you're saying. Heroin is bad, I won't do it again! I won't! It will just hurt me more. No! I will stay strong. Ronnie would be so disappointed if I went back to drugs, no! He made it, and so can I!

No, Ronnie made it because he's strong. You're not strong, you're weak. You'll give in. You know you will.

No! No, I won't. I-I w-won't! I won't...... I wouldn't do that to Ronnie, I wouldn't!

Yes you would. You're a pathetic, selfish little bitch. You don't care about anyone but yourself.

No! Thats not true. Thats not true! I-it's not.......its not...

I shook my head and clung closer to Ronnie. God damn, when would it shut up? When would it leave me alone, leave me be? When would I have peace?

Never.

God fucking damnit!

I spotted blue and blonde hair, and I looked over to see Bryan and Johnnie walking around. It looked like someone had sprayed blue all over Bryan's hair. Probably for some video.

I got up and walked over to him, wondering if I was right about this.

"Hey, err, Bryan, can I talk to you?" I asked, scratching my head.

"Yeah sure" he said, smiling at me. I took a breath and sighed. Should I really do this?

Maybe it would help me, help me by finally letting out what I was dealing with.

"Well, I know that you do band interviews, and this isn't really in your style. But I'm sure you've heard rumors about what's happened to me..." I started, and Bryan nodded.

I took another breath and continued, "well, I don't like the news, and I don't trust them not to warp what I say and change my story. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, would you be interested in conducting the interview? Ill tell you what happened, and you can post it yourself in whatever way you want, as long as you don't change what I say" I said, and he looked at me in shock.

"This is kind of big, are you sure you want me to?" he asked, and I nodded. "Okay, I can do that" he said and gave me a little smile. I nodded and rubbed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. I impulsively leaned over and gave him a hug.

I pulled away and waved quickly, running back to Ronnie. Andy and Echo had left, and I tried to collect myself as I approached Ronnie.

"Well, we've got an interview Ryker, would you like to be in it?" Ronnie said, and I shook my head. "Id rather not, no one wants to see me" I said, shrugging. Ronnie picked me up and shook his head at me. "No way, everyone wants to see you. I really want you to be in it.....it's just gonna be a little bit, probably not more than 30 minutes" he said, and I sighed and shrugged.

He took that as a yes and grinned, kissing my lips and then taking my hand and leading me back to the bus.

When we got there, it looked like the interview had already started. There was a pretty, blonde girl wearing sunglasses on her head talking to Jacky, Derek and Ryan. They looked up when we approached.

"Oh, here's Ronnie!" the girl said, and everyone scooted over a bit to make room for Ronnie. And me, I guess.

The couch was too small, so I ended up sitting half on Ronnie and half on Ryan, which was rather uncomfortable for me. I felt huge, and awkward, even though even sitting on them, I was still shorter than them. I mean, come on, Ronnie's like 6 foot 1, and I don't know how tall Ryan is, but I'm only 5 foot 5.

"Well, here's Ronnie....and, who's this?" the girl asked, talking about me. "Oh this here is Ryker, Ronnie's girl" Ryan said, smirking and laughing a little. I blushed and did a little wave, whipping my hair to cover most of my face.

"Well, hello Ryker" she said, giving me a slight nod, and then she turned back to the camera. "Well, the next question was-What's your favorite snack to eat on tour?" she said, and everyone immediately looked up. "We all know what Ronnie's answer is" Derek said, and Jacky nodded, saying "Yeah, you can see the wrappers all over the floor"

"Oh yeah, and what is it?" the girl asked, and Ronnie leaned over into the microphone and said "fruit snacks...gushers especially"

I smiled a little, remembering how Max had gotten Ronnie at least 100 packets of fruit snacks when he was in the hospital.

When I finished reminiscing, they had already moved on to the next question. "If you could pick the line up for the next big music festival, who would you pick?" the girl asked, and Jacky leaned into a microphone and said "Iron Maiden".

There was a bit of a silence, and Derek laughed, leaning over and saying "Just Iron Maiden", and then Ronnie said "Iron Maiden playing 7 different sets"

The interview was wrapped up soon and I got up and walked to the bathroom, relieved. It was rather late, and I was tired. Everything that had happened today had exhausted me.

I washed up and changed into a long shirt, then I crawled in bed.

Ronnie came in a little while later, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him.

I kissed him softly, and then we went to sleep.

But I wasn't greeted with sweet dreams.

I was haunted by the voices, and by bad memories and bad thoughts.

You know you want it.

You want it.

Heroin.

Heroin!

HEROIN!