The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

READ THE SEPARATE BOOK

****welcome a new character hehehe. How are all of you? Also, can anyone guess what I'm going to do next to torture you? Mwahaha.

Inbox me if you have a story you'd like me to read, I'd love to read your works! ****

By the time the set was almost over, I had almost pulled myself together. The voices had dimmed down, drowned out by the sound of the music, and I closed my eyes and leaned against the post, clutching it to keep myself from drifting away. I needed something to keep me anchored, to keep me here, or else I would disappear, disappear forever, with no reason, and every reason.

I would fly away, and crash, because how high can you fly with broken wings? Not very high. That would be my life, flying for a short distance, and then then crashing, then getting higher, only to crash deeper, harder, farther. Until I was too far gone to recognize myself.

I clenched my eyes shut and tried finding myself amongst all the pain, but it was a scary place in my mind, and I got lost in all the fear, the darkness, everything. I just listened to Ronnie's voice, and the sound of the drums, the guitar, the bass, just let it keep me rooted to the ground.

When the music drifted to silence, I opened my eyes and held my head, trying to push back the throbbing, the pain. Eat, I need to eat.

No! No, don't eat. Don't eat. That's not what you want. Heroin, heroin, you want heroin. You want weed, you want pills, you want OxyContin. You want heroin. Don't eat, you're fat. You're so ugly and fat. Heroin will help that. Don't eat. Don't do it you fat bitch

NO, s-stop, y-you don't know what you're talking about...S-shut up!

Ronnie said goodbye to the fans and then he rushed over to me, smiling and kissing my cheek before heading off to his dressing room.

I stayed there for a while, leaning my head against the post and sighing.

It was getting bad again.

When would I-how long would I go before giving in?

I didn't want to......but it was so hard, so hard to have all of this weighing on me, I felt like every step I took weighed me down, like I was laying on a bed of nails and every time I resisted I was pressed farther down and the nails were digging deeper into my skin. It was torture.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Ronnie smiling at me. "Im hungry, lets go get some food and then see Max. Max said he had someone he wanted you to meet" he told me, and I nodded, following him to the food tents.

He gripped my hand and I focused on his touch, filling my mind with the feeling of his hand in mine. It was the only thing keeping me from breaking down right now.

When we got to the food tents, I grabbed some pasta, ignoring the voices.

Don't grab it.
No stop.
Stop!
I told you not to eat.
Listen to me bitch!
You fat whore....

I ate quickly, trying to swallow down the increasing disgust with myself. I threw the plate away and dug my nails into my palms, trying desperately not to cry.

What's become of me?

I'm so pathetic....

So pathetic......

Ronnie interrupted my thoughts and pulled me over to another food tent, where we found Max serving chicken.

"What are you doing here?" Ronnie asked, and Max looked up, saying "oh! Well, you know, I just like to give back to the community and just serve the community"

"And he loves serving meat. You know Max, he loves giving out meat to people" a voice piped up, and I spotted brown hair from behind Max. I laughed a little at what she had said. I felt a little better already, just hearing that soft voice...

A girl peeked her head out shyly, and I was met with a pretty, pale face, staring into blue eyes.

She was shy, and yet somehow she was also outspoken and out there. I was rather envious of her. I wonder how she and Max met, wonder if she was haunted like we were.

Someone came to take over Max's shift, and he walked with us, the mysterious blue eyed beauty under his arm.

We got to a table and sat down, Ronnie and I across from Max and the girl.

"Well, you're Ryker! Ive been dying to meet you, Max said Ronnie's whipped, how'd you manage that? Do you guys fuck? I bet you do" the girl started talking crazy fast, and my head hurt a bit trying to keep up.

I nodded softly to her, blushing, and said "Sorry, and you are? Ronnie never told me your name. How did you and Max meet?"

She had soft, pretty blue eyes, long brown hair, straight and perfectly arrayed, not a stray hair anywhere. She was wearing an Escape The Fate shirt, and a tiny stud glowed on the side of her nose, and another sparkled from the right side of her bottom lip. Her skin was clear and pale, and she had a light dusting of make up on, thin winged cat-eyeliner.

"Oh, I'm Luna. And we met at Warped tour. I went to a show and there was these girls that pushed me around and pulled my hair and yelled at me. I ran away crying and Max found me and comforted me. Then he took me out to a coffee shop, and now we're here" she said to me, smiling.

I nodded, my lips pulling up in a slight smile.

She was a bit fast-paced, and somehow shy but outward at the same time, but for some reason she comforted me, pushed the bad away deeper into my head.

She managed to pull me out of my haze, and soon we were sharing stories of Max and Ronnie, and then we listened as they recalled memories of their own.

At the end of the night, Luna waved and promised to pick me up at Ronnie's bus tomorrow morning at take me out to coffee so we could talk more.