The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

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****hint hint....****

A nurse came in, and I held my arms out, expecting her to stick IVs back in my arms, but instead she shuffled some files and handed them to me. "You just need to sign some papers and you're free to go" she said with a smile, and I grinned at Ronnie. I was free, finally!

She handed me clothes and I quickly changed into them in the corner, feeling good. I was back in loose harem pants with different ancient runes and symbols, and a Falling In Reverse shirt with Ronnie's face on it. Something tells me that Ronnie picked out my clothes...

I skimmed the documents, and saw they were mostly about whether my care at the hospital was good and satisfactory, and if I felt I was ready to go out into the world.

I signed five pages, and then got to the sixth. I saw that it was a sheet recommending me to see a clinical psychologist to help cope with what had happened, and I started to feel panic rising in my chest. I quickly checked the box saying "I decline".

I flipped past that page and signed the last one agreeing that I was comfortable leaving the hospital. I handed the nurse the papers quickly and ran out of the room, pulling open the door to the stairs. I wouldn't risk going in the elevator, it could stop and I could be stuck in a little box with a stranger for hours. Who knows what they could do to me in that time.

I ran down the stairs, and when I got near the first landing, I slipped and fell down a couple stairs, landing on my butt and scratching up my knees. I stood up, a bit dizzy, and held onto the railing, going slower this time. I had almost gotten to the bottom when Ronnie caught up to me, grabbing my arm gently and turning me to face him.

"What was that about?" Ronnie asked me, and I bit my lip, saying "they wanted me to see a psychologist. I refused". Ronnie looked at me, his eyes searching my face. "Yeah I know, the nurse told me. They think it's a good idea, and so do I" Ronnie said, looking at me curiously.

Tears pooled in my eyes and I shook. "A psychiatrist or psychologist could have complete control over me. I would be stuck in a room alone with them behind closed doors for at least an hour. And they could diagnose me with some disorder and lock me up forever" I said, shaking my head. I walked over to the door and opened it, walking out to see Jacky, Ryan, and Max standing there waiting for me.

I tried to smile as I walked to them, not let the fear ruin my freedom. I could feel Ronnie walk behind behind me, his eyes staring at me. He must be confused, or something. But I didn't want to think about it, I wanted to forget it.

When I got closer the guys stepped away and Janey stepped through, running at me and holding me in her arms. "Janey!" I yelled, hugging her hard. I had missed her so much. I had almost forgotten how wonderful she was, even being near her made me feel calmer already.

She let go of me and chattered my ear off as we walked out of the hospital, but I didn't mind. I had missed listening to her talking, and with every word she said, my heartbeat slowed down. Ronnie took my hand, and I looked over at him and smiled softly, trying to apologize for before. I hadn't meant to be so loud and forceful with him, or rip my arm from his hands.

He nodded, and I felt better knowing he wasn't upset with me. When I got outside I saw the tour bus parked next to the hospital, with a bunch of cop cars and 'do not cross' police tape around it. There were so many people surrounding it, I got a bit nervous. If they broke through the police, they could overpower us...

But then I noticed that they were screaming and I realized that they were just fans. I waved just before we got into the bus.

"The band kind of needs to get back on tour because the record company is insisting, but I told them that you only just got out and you probably aren't ready to travel, so we can definitely wait a few days!" Ronnie said, running a hand through his hair.

I grinned and kissed his cheek. "Ronnie, Ive been stuck in the same place for weeks, and before that I was stuck for...." I stopped, taking a deep breath and swallowing down the cry. Why had I brought that up? Everyone looked uncomfortable now, unsure what to say.

"I'm more than ready to travel again" I said, making a feeble smile lift the pain from my face.

Everyone grinned and then the driver started moving and we sat down.

I pushed down the pain and tried to grin along with everyone, trying to enjoy being free.

But I still felt trapped. I don't think I will feel better until He is permanently gone.