Mixed

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Sitting at the merch table, I try and figure out all my mixed feelings. On one hand, I'm attracted to him, but on the other, it's all a game, at least for him it is.

I thought it was for me too, but now, I'm not so sure. I can't make sense of it, all these conflicting emotions, insisting on being dominant and heard.

I feel arms around my back and I freak out, jumping away and screaming. Whenever someone surprises me, this is what happens now. Damned Him.

I Turned around and looked up to see a confused Max. "Sorry you scared me" I say, holding my hand to my chest and breathing deeply. Repress the memories, go away, go back to the depths of my mind, I tell myself.

"Uh, sorry" he said, looking at me curiously.

Nope, this isn't good, now he's gonna wanna know, and he's gonna ask, and then Ronnie and him will gang up on me until I tell him. "It's fine, so uh, what's up?" I tell him, turning to give a girl her shirt and shorts combo.

Stupid Mrs. Radke booty-shorts/underwear, I scowl to myself.

"Just thought I'd say hi. Do you know where Ronnie is?" he asked, looking at his phone.

"I think he headed over to the food tents for a bite before the show" I said distractedly. It was really busy this morning, with all these kids scrambling to buy merch before the weekend was over and they had to go back home.

"Okay cool, thanks, catch ya later" he says, walking off quickly.

"Yep" I say, though more to myself, since he's already gone.

"Hey, so, is it true? Are you and Ronnie-" a girl starts to ask me, leaning close as if she was about to share a really important secret. She stops talking right around the time someone gives me a side-hug. "Oh my god it is true guys look he's hugging her! IT'S TRUE! ROKER IS TRUE! RYNNIE IS REAL!" the girl shrieks, catching everyone's attention.

"Roker? Rynnie? Is that...... a ship name?" I say to myself, confused. Until, it hits me. That's what this was all about! People think me and Ronnie are, that is they think Ronnie and me are.....together?

"No way, she's probably just sucking his dick so that she can get all popular and famous or some shit" some teen girl says in line, rolling her eyes and chomping on pink bubblegum, with her sparkly eye-shadow and gemstoned fake-eyelashes.

"Aria! You said you wouldn't say anything about my bands! Ugh, why did mom have to make you come with me" the girl beside her whined, glaring at her.

"So that you wouldn't get raped by these dumb pedophiles" the girl says, pulling her 'Princess' shirt down more. And pink stilettos, really? We're in fucking Ohio, why the fuck does she need those shoes walking through dead grass and mud? She probably sinks in with every step she takes.

At what she says, I glare and lunge at her. I grab her shirt and pull her close. "Insult me all you want fucktwat, but don't say a word against these bands" I growl at her, glowering.

I try and get closer to her but Ronnie grabs my waist and holds me back. I glare at the girl and struggle in his arms, but he's taller than me, and yeah, stronger.

"SEE! He's holding her back, look at that! How is that not Rynnie?"

"It's totally Roker!" 2 girls say, snapping pictures on their phones.

"Calm" he mutters to me.

"Okay okay I'm cool I'm cool" I say, holding my hands up.

He puts me back down and I go back to work, but when the girl comes by me and mumbles "fag" in Ronnie's direction, I jump at her, grinning when she scurries away squealing.

When the line dies down, Ronnie looks at me amusedly. "Rynnie? Roker huh?" He laughs, winking at me.

"What do ya know, I knew you'd fall for me" I grin, winking back.

****soooo........ideas on the ship names? Roker or Rynnie, which one? or any new ideas for RykerxRonnie?***

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