The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

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****ahhh I'm so sorry guys......just saying, if you kill me, then itll stay like this forever...... just a thought......

You guys should go check out MCR_BVB 's story Silent Treatment, it's got Motionless In White in it!

I'd love for you to send me your stories!***

His ghost hands scraped across my skin, digging in. Every touch seemed to cut into me, tearing at my very soul, my very sanity. They dug into my mind, scraping my memories.

When would He leave me? Even after He's gone, He's still here.

I sat up in horror, gripping my hand in my face and leaning my elbows on my knees. I started breathing deeply, hyperventilating and crying.

You know how it is.

You know what will help.

So go get it.

You know where they'll be.

You'll know who's selling it.

It's ingrained in your memory.

You'll recognize them immediately.

You know you want it.

Heroin.

It'll help.

You know it will.

No! Stop! Leave me alone, leave me alone!

I stood up abruptly and stumbled out of the bed, tripping over things and running to the bathroom. I threw the door open and then I leaned against the sink, splashing water on my face.

I made the mistake of peering up into the mirror, and I wanted to hurl at what I saw.

Dark circles drooped from my eyes. My lips were chapped and bloody. The skin under my nose was peeling from crying so much. And my eyes. They looked dead. I looked dead.

I wanted to scream. I tore at my hair, pulling it hard and shaking uncontrollably.

I couldn't handle this anymore. I couldn't do it. I was too down, too gone. I couldn't deal with this anymore.

You know what will help.

You know what to do.

So go do it.

Do it.

Heroin.

Do it!

Okay! Okay! You win! Are you happy? Are you fucking happy? You've destroyed me, and you're going to destroy everything good in my life!

I scrambled to the kitchen and wrote a quick note about going to get coffee and then hanging out with Echo and Luna. Who knows if Ronnie would ask Andy or Max if they were hanging out with me. Hell, he might run into them.....

I laid it on the counter and tip-toed back to Ronnie's room, pulling on some pants and then grabbing some money from my wallet before sliding on shoes.

I picked up Ronnie's puffy jacket with a fake fur lining around the hood and put it on, zipping it up around me.

I ran out of the bus, my breath puffing out in front of me.

It was pitch black outside, probably around 2 am, I couldn't be sure.

I hope nobody's there. I hope Ronnie wakes up and comes outside, somehow knowing that I'm not safe. I hope he finds me and saves me...