The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

READ THE SEPARATE BOOK

**** I'm so sorry guys......it's gonna be bad for a while ahh please don't leave though, please don't give up on this book series

For anyone who may be confused, the italics is the voice in her head telling her bad things

Guys seriously if you write stories tell me Id love to read them ahhh haha XD if you want characters or advice or you just want me to read it, I'm serious, I want to! ****

After Max said that, I just laid in silence, feeling the guilt, the shame, all of it just weigh me down. It was suffocating me....

After a while Max looked over at me. "Hey, what happened to you?" he asked, and I sighed. It starts now...the lies......the deceit....

"I don't know," I lied, "I guess I was just tired. I haven't been sleeping very well." He nodded to me, and I felt even more guilt, more shame.

I lied to him....

I was deceiving everyone that trusted me, I was deceiving the people who would help me. I was deceiving the people I love....

Would this be my life now? A life of deceit, deception, disgrace? A life of lies and deception?

No.

A life of fun.

A life of excitement.

A life of drugs.

A life of heroin.

It makes you happy.

Makes you forget.

That's what you want isn't it?

You want to forget....

Heroin can give you that.

Heroin does give you that.

Heroin will give you that.

No. Heroin gives me lies. Heroin costs me my honesty. My friends. My trust. Heroin costs me everything. Heroin will take over my life and ruin everything else....

But I can't stop myself....

I need it like I need sleep. No, I need it more than sleep, more than anything.

More than Ronnie?

No!

Yes!

No! Ronnie is more important than anything.

And yet I can't stop myself from taking heroin. I can't stop myself. I can't control myself.......

I'm a slave to heroin....

"Where's Ronnie?" I asked, not wanting to let the silence consume me. I felt the bad vibes pulling me under.

And the bad thing, well everything is bad, but the ironic bad thing is that the guilt and shame of taking heroin.....is probably gonna lead me to take heroin again, to forget. It'll just be a vicious cycle I can't get out of....

"He had a show. He wanted to stay but we convinced him to go, on the condition that I watched you while he was gone" Max said, getting on his phone.

I sighed and sat up, drawing my legs up and resting my head on my knees.

"Oh. Sorry" I said to him. He could be out having fun, or out with his girlfriend, but instead he was sitting in a bus with me, doing nothing.

Damn me.