The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

READ THE SEPARATE BOOK

****Im sorry guys, I apologize immensely! For the last chapter, and the drugs, and for what I have planned for the future......****

I was shaken awake by a soft hand on my shoulder. I jerked up and looked to see Max and the guys (Falling In Reverse) standing in the room.

I rubbed my eyes, sure they were red from drugs and from crying. The guys grabbed chairs and sat down all around Ronnie, looking to me for an explanation. Max was closest next to me, and Jacky directly across from me.

I took a deep breath and began to speak. "I-it was raining, storming really hard, and we were just driving, Ronnie had one hand on the steering wheel, the other in his lap with my hand- and we slipped but Ronnie took care of it, we were fine! A-and then, then I saw the other car, and it crashed into the car. M-my legs were stuck, and my head hit the window. B-but Ronnie, his head hit the steering wheel and he-he wasn't moving-he was unconscious! I thought-I thought!"

I fell into hysterics, sobbing and clutching my face, covering my eyes. Max scooted closer to me and took me in his arms, hugging me to his chest. I clutched his shirt, trying to hold in the tears and stay silent, but I couldn't help it, he was as close to Ronnie as I could get, and he was so soft, I fell apart in his arms.

"Hey, you trying to steal my girl man?" a scratchy voice said, and I sat upright quickly, looking over in disbelief to see Ronnie sitting up and looking at me.

Ronnie-he wasn't supposed to be awake so soon, not for another hour at least!

"Man, you're up!" Max said, and he leaned over to hug Ronnie. Everyone hugged him, and I sat in disbelief. I thought that he was supposed to be asleep for 4 hours, and it had only been 2 or so?!!

"Ryker was making it seem like you were a comatose patient or something" Ryan said, and I huffed indignantly. "Hey, I didn't finish! He was unconscious, then he woke up and the medics brought him to the hospital. I rode in a patrol car behind them" I said, sticking my tongue out and letting my hand find Ronnie's and grasping it.

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I had spent the night at the hospital, not budging until the nurses gave up and let me stay.

Now it was morning, and Ronnie was getting signed out. We were going back to the bus and staying the night, then leaving the tour early. There were only 3 or so shows left, so Ronnie didnt feel too bad about missing them.

The doctors said no shows for a few months, so Ronnie was going to bring me home with him. I was going to live with fucking Ronnie motherfucking sexgod Radke, and get to meet Charlie, and B-Lay, and all of them! I was nervous, excited, and terrified.

The driver of the other car was held accountable for the damage, and he would have to pay for Ronnie's car to be fixed or replaced, but Ronnie brushed off the medical bills, saying he could pay for them. It wasn't entirely the other drivers fault; it had been really wet and slippery, and Ronnie could have just as easily ran into him as he ran into us.

With all that taken care of, Ronnie signed out and we rode the elevator down to ground level, walking to the car. Ronnie's head was bandaged, and his arm was in a wrap, but he had little substantial damage. It was mostly scrapes and bruises. My legs were wrapped up, and it hurt to walk or move because the car had cut deep and I had shaved off a few layers of skin when I twisted in my seat to get to Ronnie, so the skin was raw.

The ride back to the set up was quiet, everyone was asleep. I offered to drive, but Jacky had insisted-which is good, as I was completely drugged out-so I was in the back with Ronnie, and Max, Ryan and Derek were in another car.

When we got back to the buses, Max helped Ronnie to the Falling bus, and I set off looking for food that Ronnie would like. I had gotten some fruit snacks from the hospital-I really bought them this time-to give to him, and I thought I would check out the food tents to see if I could find some lasagna or something of that sort.

As I was walking, I passed by a set I wish I hadn't-Max had made it back to Escape I guess, and now they were putting on a show. I sighed, rolling my eyes and getting ready to get as far away as I could, but I heard some of what Craig was saying, and my blood started boiling.

I set my teeth in anger and slunk in between fans, quickly blending in with them so that the security guards wouldn't notice me.

"Who's chanting 'Ronnie does it better'? Ronnie can suck my dick!" Craig's voice said, his repulsive voice looming into my ears like maggots. "You wish he would you twat!" I yelled, and the fans turned to see. Some didn't mind me, others glared, and others didn't know who I was.

"Who said that? Get out!" Craig yelled, and then he walked around the stage.

"Fuck it, this ones called 'If I could stay sober I'd still have my band'!" Craig yelled into the mic, and then Not Good Enough For Truth In Cliche started playing.

I hated that. If you replace a band member, fine, but if you have a thing like Craig vs Ronnie where they hate each other and talk shit, Craig saying Ronnie's a dipshit and insulting him-and his music. Then why would he want to sing his songs? It's not fair! If they're not on good terms, they fucking shouldn't sing their songs! It was Ronnie's fucking song, Craig had plenty of time with getting new music-he didn't need to sing Ronnie's songs, he had no right!

"Don't you even think for a second you could be anywhere near what Ronnie is! You dumbass, you fucking imposter! Don't try to be Ronnie, and don't try to do things better than him, especially his things!" I screamed, and at this point people noticed I was a nuisance, an interrupting trouble-maker.

"FUCK YOU CRAIG MABBIT, SUCK MY ASS YOU TWAT!" I screamed as the security guards grabbed me and threw me out of the venue.

I dusted myself off and then went off, getting lasagna and going back to Ronnie.

I gave Ronnie the food, then rushed off to the bathroom. It had been nearly 6 hours since my last fix, and I was desperately in need of another one. It took longer than usual to fix everything up, because my hands were trembling. I was terrified, was I really injecting drugs in the bathroom of Ronnie's fucking bus!

I finally got it right, quickly injected, and then I went back, helped Ronnie to bed, and then lay down next to him as he slept.

I cried, not exactly sure why, and lay next to him, tired, and yet I couldn't fall asleep. I just lay there exhausted in Ronnie's arms.