The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

READ THE SEPARATE BOOK

The rest of Falling In Reverse walked in and stood around me, welcoming me back and just talking with each other. It felt nice. For a while there at the park, I hadn't thought I would make it. I never thought I'd hear these guys' voices ever again. I had stood there thinking, 'this is it, this is where I die'. But somehow, I didn't. And that was so amazing.

I felt pretty good, considering I had 2 bullet wounds that were constantly throbbing. I felt happy. I looked around at my, friends? Could I call them that? No, they were more than friends. I feel like they're my family.

Max had come in with a handful of gushers packets and slipped them to me like they were too secret illegal drugs. I laughed and ate them gratefully.

I had people who cared about me. Hell, Derek hardly knew me and he was still so nice to me, so cool. I was so happy to have them.

I was happy. That is, until there was another knock at the door and suddenly 3 strangers came into my room. Well not really strangers, but they basically were, they basically made themselves strangers to me.

It was my mum, and dad, and sister Kari. I felt very very bad then. I sat up in shock and grabbed Ronnie's hand for comfort. He squeezed back, unsure who they were but knowing that I was upset by their presence.

I hadn't exactly felt good about how we had last interacted. And I still wasn't over it. I was rather mad, and pretty sad, but I wouldn't admit that part. I mean, I had just gotten out of prison and juvy because of something that was not the wrong thing to do, and just when I get back, they up and leave me with barely a goodbye. No warning for me, no one told me, they just started walking out and then I learned that they were leaving.

They left me. So why the hell did they just show up at my hospital room? Now? Why fucking now? They didn't care before, so why would they now? They probably only came because they wanted the attention. Wanted to be famous, wanted to be on tv.

"And what does the 'devil-child' owe to this pleasure?" I asked angrily, venom coating my words. My dad took a step closer to me, and he cleared his throat. "I know we didn't get off on the right foot. But you do understand, how you looked, how it all looked, it was pretty bad. Pretty bad. But you're still my daughter, and I'm still your dad" he said to me, laying a hand on my ankle.

I jerked my legs away, curling them up underneath me. I did not want to be touched by him, or any of them for that matter. Everyone was silent, watching us. My dad, he hadn't even apologized! He just tried to make me feel guilty about something that he had done. Like it was my fault! The fucking asshole!

"I don't give a damn what your interpretation of how you 'greeted' me out of prison was. Because my interpretation is that you didn't look at me, or talk to me, just referred to me as the 'devil-child' and then left me just when I had fucking come back from 4 years of imprisonment! And as far as I'm concerned, you're not my father. You're just a shit stranger that shouldn't be in my room. Now get the hell out!" I said forcefully, my voice getting louder at the end.

My mum stepped up then, looking at me with concerned eyes. "My baby girl, I'm still your mum! I-I carried you for 9 months inside me! I cared for you when you were just a little baby! I feed you, sheltered you-!" she said, but I cut her off, adding on "you left me. In one of my more vulnerable states" I said to her, glaring.

She was trying to play the mother card, but where had that card been when I was being raped? Where was that motherly care when she walked out on me? When I was being beaten? When I was kidnapped? Where the hell had it been for the time I spent all alone? Fuck her.

My sister Kari shrugged her shoulders and said "I don't believe in rape. You brought this upon yourself. By being stupid and by hanging out with these losers" she said, and she walked out herself, not caring at all.

Tears pricked my eyes as I pointed to the door and screamed "OUT!", waiting for my 'parents' to leave. I didn't want them to come back.

They wanted out before, and I want nothing more than for them to stay out!