The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

Bonus Chapter 3

*Ronnie*

I felt myself fading away, drifting. It scared me, I didn't know where I was going, and what I would be leaving behind. What was this place? I felt anchored to the spot, but I also felt free to drift and flow and roam. All these contradicting feelings existed and I didn't know what to make of it.

I just missed Ryker. I fucking missed her. I wonder if she's alive, wonder if she's okay. What if the person got to her, took her from me?

For the first time, I realized something. The person, that car, could it be that the person driving the car was the one who had been hurting Ryker? Could it be?

If that was the case, what if they took her after they hit me? Or-or what if they, what if they ran her down? Or took her and kept her so they could do what they wanted with her? I didn't want to think about it....

I was haunted by all the memories that contained her. I drifted through them, reliving them, watching from afar as they happened.

I remember when I first met her. I had seen her through the fans, had seen her shaking and shuddering. She looked terrified, her eyes were wide and her shoulders were trembling.

I don't know why I had done it, risked it, but I shoved through the people and helped her through. I guess it was just because I felt, felt drawn to her. Everything about her called to me, pulled me to her. I wanted to be close to her.

It was funny to see her, because at times she could resist me easily and flirt right back, teasing me. It drove me crazy, and quite a few times I found myself wishing I could be with her, do things with her...

But then other times she would get so flustered, so wide-eyed around me, nearly swooning. It was amusing to see that I could have such a drastic affect on her sometimes. It was flattering and exciting to see her so smitten sometimes.

When I first got a good look at her, I admit I was almost swooning with her. She was so beautiful, so gorgeous. Her hair was soft and clean, sort of flying out crazily around her in a pretty kind of way. Her eyes were a gorgeous green, the type of eyes I could get lost in. Her lips were so full and red, and her smile was dazzling.

I dreamt about her for days.

And when she had screamed for me that night that the man had tried to take her, I felt like I might die. I knew I couldn't lose her, I was so ready to fight for her, to kill for her. It was kind of terrifying to feel myself so attached, so deeply rooted to her. I never talked to anyone about it though, cause I didn't want anyone to know. I think Max pretty much knew anyways though.

Max. I loved him, I really did. He was my best friend, but a small part of me was still furious that he had let me go to jail when it wasn't my fault, that he hadn't taken the fall with me. And then he had let fucking Craig take my place, as if Craig could do it anything like I did.

Craig. I fucking hated him. He was such a little bitch. The fucking posing copy-cat. Replaced me in my band and trying to take my place, fucking trying to become me. He fucking had my hair, but when he fucking started growing a little tuft of hair under his bottom lip, that's when it was so fucking obvious that he was copying me. The fucking dick.

Ryker had hated him too. Had? She did, she did! She wasn't dead, what am I saying? She didn't like Craig at all. When we had been at the club, why I wanted to kiss her when I saw her punch him square on the jaw. She didn't even have to look, and she hit him right where she wanted. It made me so happy to see that she felt the same way towards him as I did.

When I first saw her limping back from wherever it was that she went at night, looking bruised up. I wanted to fall apart. I did when I was alone, crying as I thought of her and what she went through. Why wouldn't she let me help her?

I just wanted to help her.