Sans-ational adventure (Konosuba x Male reader)

Chapter 111: Weed Killer

 " ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"You two, please settle down. You're not making yourselves any favors by bickering around like two toddlers."

Princess: Whatever... So you found my true self, very well. What will you do about it ?

"Well, there's always the option of quite literally burning this entire forest to the ground, put whatever is left of you through a grinder and disperse the ashes all over the ocean."

Kazuma: Please contain the calamity, dude. But he has a point. We're adventurers and you're a monster. We're blatantly enemies and not compatible whatsoever.

Princess: What in the world did I do wrong ? Everyone who came here did so on their own accord ! They'd much rather have me send them off to meet their Gods than die alone ! It's only fair that I feed off their bodies in exchange. The adventurers passed away without pain, without loneliness, it's a blessing ! I, in turn, also live a wonderful life having quality nutrients at my disposal. Why are you so ticked off by this positive cycle of mutual benefits ? What a faux-humanitarian !

Kazuma: Did you think dropping your shell would make you less of a scorpion ? We've come to kill you. According to the Adventurers' guild, because you've converted this forest into a suicide paradise, their reputation took a hit.

"... The forest of suicide... What irony. Real glad I didn't bring a camera..."

Kazuma: There is no one to cancel us here. And even so, to prevent more people from seeking their doom here, they're putting up an eye-catching warning sign at the entrance.

Princess: Hold on a second, don't jump to conclusions yet. All aside, you do know that you can't harm me, right ? I've rooted here since nearly a hundred years ago. Do you honestly believe that no one before has found my true self during all this time ? Do you know what happened to them ? Whatever game it is you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me.

Kazuma: Oh I know. But he can. Go get her.

"... Nah. I still don't feel like attacking her. The magic item didn't lie, and neither did I. Though uprooting her is still very much in the realm of possibilities."

Kazuma: ... How do you...

Princess: Oh, chill out there. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning to assassinate you in the dark. Rather, it was supposed to be an incentive for you.

Kazuma: What's that supposed to mean ?

Princess: Dig down, you'll find valuable things in there.

"... The equipment and valuables of the adventurers..."

Kazuma: Aren't you a little too human-esque ? Even trying bribery.

Princess: Isn't it nonetheless a good trade for both ? You'd get the money, and I'll be spared. Guess this is a win-win. As I've said, we aim to live in harmony with nature.

Kazuma: ... You've found the wrong guys. Name's Kazuma, Satou Kazuma, the adventurer from Axel who has exterminated numerous Demon Generals. Please don't put me on their level, alright ? My excellence so far has earned me more than enough money. Also, the guy behind me is literally a billionaire.

Princess: H- Hey, hey, hold it, calm down. I understand now that you're a strong man not prone to greed or lust...

'*SNORT*'