Matters | JENSOO

Internal Monologue: Jennie

I have had several heartbreaks and the worst of all were the ones because of you. I have never thought that I would go as far as I did when it comes to you. Where did I gain all the patience to go through seasons just to wait until you're ready?

You're cautious, too cautious oftentimes. Maybe life hasn't been friendly to you. I have made myself aware of it. A humble neighborhood, a missing figure of a lady in a family portrait, and scholarships that you constantly have to win. I wonder how you survived all these things... while still being an admirable person that you are.

It all makes sense. The overly protective friend you have, your unwavering dignity, all the effort you thought you'd have to put in to win a girl who was practically throwing herself at you... it all makes sense.

But all those doubts and resignation? It's like a pattern. From that night in the hotel suite; to the night in a backyard somewhere in Jeju; to the most poignant night of all... The night on the 25th.

Did you really think I would let tonight slipped away like all those nights?

I wasn't ready to lose you again, to let you once again fade away into the ocean of doubt and fear; watching me from afar like you couldn't reach me.

I am here; I have always been here. I was already yours even before you ask me to.

Tonight was unscripted and I know you despised it. For your cautious self, the unknown is frightening and unpremeditated is the beginning of a failure.

But then you let yourself move in a raw state, surrendering to your own yearning, completely oblivious of the plan that you'd had in mind. All eyes on me like nothing else mattered.

And you said those three words in the simplest form.

It has been always like that for me, Jisoo. It has been always that plain to me.

That I love you too.

Behind all this glittering facade that you oftentimes too scared to touch, I'm just a vulnerable girl when it comes to you.

Nothing else matters. The three words were enough. The starless night and the tranquil river was enough.

You are enough.

And I love you and I don't think I can say it enough.