Steal His Girl

37

     It's been a couple weeks since you know what. I can't stop thinking about you know who doing you know what. It's bombarding my thoughts to the point where I'm afraid to sleep alone.

     No I'm not sleeping in moms bed. I'm not five. I'm not scared of the monster that lives under my bed, or the big bad wolf that hides in my closet.

    I physically can't fall asleep by myself. Every time I close my eyes you know who's face pops up in my head. I can't get that Saturday morning out of my head.

   The feeling of how hard he hit me. Just the thought of my own boyfriend hitting me made me want to bawl my eyes out.

   I've had enough time to think this through, playing it over and over in my head that I keep asking myself if this was my fault.

    Maybe it is.. what if I caused this!

If I never hung out with Andrew he wouldn't have gotten jealous. And if that's why he cheated on me, to get back at me, than maybe I caused this.

   If I never hung out with Andrew, Josh wouldn't have cheated, then I wouldn't have gone over there and he wouldn't have hit me. This is all my fault.

    I did this to myself. I'm the reason we fight, it's not his. Me not listening to him got him mad, and he took it out on me.

   He didn't mean it. I know he didn't. He-he loves me..

   We get on each others nerves but that's just because he's over protective and possessive. Josh just doesn't want to lose me.

   Right?

     He won't do it again. He wouldn't hurt me.

H-he won't.

    For everyone else's sake I have to keep it together. My mom can't know, Andrew can't know. Not even my friends can know.

   I need to keep a front, if I was going to keep this to myself. No one can know.

     "Hey ash." Andrew said walking beside me in the halls. Just smile and everything will be fine.

    "H-hi Andrew."

Wow, real smooth ashley. Real smooth.

Why can't I ever lie to him?

   "Did I scare you?" He chuckled clutching his book bag strap.

    "No you just surprised me."

"Oh, ight. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to be here." I managed an eye roll.

  "Huh, how do you think I feel?"

"I just want to go home."

  More than you could ever imagine. I want to bury myself in my JC Penny bed covers and lock myself in my room.

   "Are you sure everything's ok?" He questioned, looking at me suspiciously.

   "I'm sure, you've been asking me this for days?"

  "I don't know, you seem a little.. different." Andrew points out.

    "Well I'm not. I just.. hate Mondays."

That's true, I do hate Mondays. With a passion might I add. But you and I both know that's definitely not why I'm extra moody lately.

   "If that's all that's going on.."

"It is." I assured him a little too quickly. He gently pulled me to the side and I jumped at the sudden skin to skin contact.

He saw that.

   "I hope you know that if anythings bothering you, you can talk to me.. "

    "I know."

"Good." And we continued walking all the way to his locker. I clutched my books as I stood by him, admiring him for being there for me. I really want to tell him.

   I really do. I want to fall into his arms and cry until he convinces me that everything's going to be fine. I knew that if I told him about what Josh did, he'd kill him.

   For me, he would do that.

He's shown me that he'd do anything for me. And I'm totally one hundred percent convinced that he'd mess him up really bad.

   I will tell him, but right now isn't the right time. I don't want to get him all worked up in school. There's no telling what he'll do.

  For all I know he could get kicked out of this school as well. I don't want that to happen to him.

  Over the past few months I've learned to trust him. If you told me a couple months ago that I'd become best friends with the kid who pulled out the knife, I'd say you were on some kind of drugs.

   Looking at it now, I'd say he had a good reason for doing so. He wouldn't just pull out a knife, threatening to cut just anyone.

   The snitches as he called them, were probably a threat to him. Maybe they over stepped his boundaries. (Not that, that's any excuse)

   Getting to know this great guy, has changed my point of view on so many things about him. He comes from a broken family, and I totally understand that this may have caused his rebellious behavior.

    I can't imagine what my life would like without him now. It's almost impossible to think of there being a time where we haven't gotten close.

   I was too closed minded to realize that he wasn't the heartless thug everyone was talking about. He very much has a heart, and feels deeper than anyone I've known.

   Andrew didn't have to tell me this. I can see it. Behind his remarks and attitude, his feelings shine through.

   Everyone just sees him as a threat, but he's not.

   "We should do something this Friday." He suggested after a few minutes.

   "I don't think I can this Friday."

"Oh okay.. you have other plans?" He questioned.

   "Yeah I might go to Applebee's with my dance friends." I used as an excuse.

   "Alright, well hit me up if anything changes." He gave me a brief hug before we went our separate ways.

                                      •••

  Logging off.. leave something nice in the comments❤️❤️ night loves

Oh and any songs this book reminds you of?

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