Steal His Girl

94

How was I going to through an entire year without him? How will I possibly function without him by my side?

If I thought three days was bad, try three hundred sixty five. This was going to be pure torture. An absolute nightmare.

I pictured us spending as much time together during the summer as possible, especially in Florida. That was off.

Our plans had been completely destroyed. Torn apart. I don't think I could do this alone. My parents were always at work, and Andrew was gone. Thank god for my friends.

They would be the only thing holding me up at this point. And they had been.

For the remainder of the summer we spent almost every waking day together. Whether it was biking around, or going to the beach, there wasn't a single day I'd spend by myself.

I knew that if I had, I'd break down. I'd probably lock myself in my room and bawl like a baby, at how screwed up all of this has become.

Although I had been distracted, there wasn't a moment that I wasn't thinking of him. Not a day has gone by where Andrew Hills wasn't the first thing I thought of.

He asked me not to come to his court date which I was confused about.

He went on about how he doesn't want me to see him in that position. I didn't know what he was talking about. Like what?

Why didn't he want to see me there? I wanted to be there to support him, but he just didn't want me to go. I respected what he wanted and stayed home, but I knew that I should've went.

   Something told me that I needed to be there. In the end I didn't end up going. I'd respect his wishes and stay out of it. That was when he needed someone to be there for him the most but he wouldn't hear of it.

    He began to distance himself from me. I kept telling myself that it was all going to be fine and that he's acting rationally.

   Andrew is simply reacting to the situation. For all I knew he may have just wanted to make things easier by leaving like that. To put distance in between us before he was off.

   I tried to understand that but it was difficult. Don't get me wrong, it hurt like hell but there wasn't anything I could do about it. As much as I wanted to be there with him, and talk to him on the phone I couldn't.

   Andrew Hills was going through a difficult time and I knew it. I understood that things were going to change for a while but I just didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to even think about living my life without  him.

   I was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to accept. I had to learn to live with the fact that for the next year, it'd be like I'd never met him. After many arguments, he had tried to convince me into avoiding calling and visiting.

   I didn't know if I could keep those promises, but I'd try. It hurt that he didn't want to keep in contact. In a way I tried to understand his thought process, but I still didn't get why.

   Why Andrew, is it such a big deal for me to call you? To come visit you? I get that it'll just make things harder but let's be honest, I won't be able to stay away for that long.

   I know myself too well.

I constantly thought about different ways this all could've played out. One scenario was with the two of us on the beach. Sitting there under the hot sun, together in front of the ocean.

   That was my favorite one. It was the fantasy I had based off of a reality that was so close to being fulfilled. But of course, like every other thing that has happened to us , something decided to get in the way again.

   The universe couldn't handle that the two of us would finally get our chance. Andrew Hills and I had a chance to test out our relationship. This chance was completely screwed up, as usual.

You lose hope after a while, when everything around you is pushing you away from that certain person. It takes a lot to keep fighting for something that seems so impossible.

Sometimes I wonder if all this is worth it. Is what we're trying to work through? Worth all of this time and energy? Is it worth the year-long wait? How am I supposed to know whether or not I should wait?

Who's to say I shouldn't move on with someone else? No, snap out of it.

It is worth it and you know it. What you and Andrew have is rare. It is in fact worth the wait for something as special as your relationship. No matter what comes between the two of you is just what we have to go through to get to where we're going.

Right?

It's only a year. Twelve months. That's better than any other sentence he could've gotten. I'm just thankful for that.

   It honestly could've been worse than a year. Maybe two or three, maybe even four years. I guess in a way he's lucky to have such a short sentence.

    Despite all this, I can't stop myself from wondering about why it had to be him. Why did it have to be Andrew, my boyfriend that had to get arrested? Why in the world couldn't it have been Tasha Hailand or my damn ex Josh?

   But you know how things are. Life isn't fair, so of course the terrible things happen to the people that don't deserve it. It's how everything I've come to know, has worked. No one said I liked it, but it's not like I can ice and choose what will happen to me.

    Life has a way of catching you by surprise. Your happy one moment and the next you find yourself buried under the covers feeling like a train wreck. It sort of creeps up on you when everything seems to be going in the right direction..

   Until it's not.